Dr. Johnny Pervert
Greetings and Salutations to you all!My name is Dr. Johnny Pervert (pronounced per-vehr…The T is silent, and I am French after all) and I have offered Notinhalloffame.com my expertise on the most attractive women is sports.
Now you may be saying this to yourself; who is this guy to tell me about hot women, and why do I need you to tell me these things? There are lists like this all over the Internet!
I will address the second one first.
The lists/countdowns I have seen generally focus on one sport, or just one crop of Olympians. Sometimes it will be for one country. More often than not, the list never exceeds 50.
As for my list, I looked at the entire earth; so much so that I looked at sports I never really cared about (and once and a while didn’t know existed) and despite my location in America’s heartland I looked at as many countries as I could to make the perfect list! This also included sports that are not exactly your traditional ones, at least by my North American eyes.
That’s the quality. As for the quantity, I decided to go for a number that I have not seen anywhere else: 400. As far as I can see, no other website has elected to find that number of damsels who are worthy of putting on a pedestal.
That answers one question.
The second is who am I to rank them.
Well, I am a Doctor of Love, and gangster of passion and one whose love of women is known worldwide…and no I am not some degenerate living in his parent’s basement!
Now with that out of the way, let’s take a look at this bevy of athletic beauties!
Feel free to let the good doctor if there is someone I missed or someone else you think fits the bill…so to speak.
Sophie Polkamp stirs something up inside of me. With her Uma Thurman like (as in Kill Bill) athletic skills, those arched eyebrows that offer mischief and those full cheeks making her all the way cute, Polkamp is a mystery that the good doctor wants to solve. So who has tickets…
There are snowboarding hills in Bulgaria? The good doctor has a lot of places that I intend to do house calls but adding frequent flier miles on a flight to Sofia wasn’t on my radar. Although when I look at those pictures of snowboarding sensation, Alexandra Jekova, I think I…
The good doctor will tell you that he has no clue just how much Rhythmic Gymnast, Dai Fei Fei still competes, or whether she is full time actress in Chinese cinema. I will also ask you once you see how flexible she is, will you even care? Actually, the good…
Quick! Who is the most successful Slovenian skier of all time? The good doctor knows that the answer as it former Olympic Gold Medalist, Tina Maze. Maze certainly knows how to carve a path down the slopes, and I would love to run a maze through her!
The good doctor can tell you that if this were a list based on beauty and success, Caroline Wozniacki would be in the top three for sure. Alas, this is not what I am prescribing, and miss Wozniacki will have to settle for a top fifty position on Dr. Johnny’s…
Do you ever notice that some girls look better when they don’t even try? The good doctor shows you evidence in the delightful Christen Press from the United States soccer team. We always talk about the girl next door type, but that cliché fits Ms. Press perfectly. Now if only…
The good doctor has made an athletic discovery. Per capita (seriously, look it up) the most successful athletes are Norwegian. They might also be the hottest per capita. I am thinking of something that Norway’s hurdling star, Christina Vukicevic can jump over!
In a way, the good doctor feels bad for Maria Kirilenko, as though she is very attractive, how can a good looking blonde female Russian tennis player not be compared to the legendary Anna Kornikova? Regardless, this is one player I want to go “30 love” with!
The good doctor can’t resist a good pun. While looking at professional golfer Meghan Hardin, I can’t help but get a hard-on! Can you imagine how many times she has heard that one before?
Zsuzsanna Jakabos is easily the hottest woman in Hungarian swimming. Now granted, the good doctor can’t tell you who is second, but while you are looking at Zsuzsanna (and damn I love that spelling of her first name) do you care who else is in the pool with her?
Many of the female fighters (including the ones who are on this list) look like they belong in mixed martial arts. Unless I am watching someone other than Paige Vanzant in the octagon, she looks more like a college football cheerleader than trained destroyer. This is bringing back the good…
Viva la France! The good doctor knows that we have a bad reputation when we travel overseas, but I propose that I venture back to the land of baguettes and berets and act as an ambassador. My first stop is with the French muse, Laure Bolleau who plays defense for…
Let’s go surfing in Australia shall we? When the good doctor takes a look at the scrumptious and sexy Aussie surfer, Sally Fitzgibbons, I have to wonder why Nicole Kidman was considered a hot Aussie export. Where is the acting equivalent of Ms. Fitzgibbons?
While the good doctor is not always watching women’s hockey, Russian Goalie, Anna Prugova is one I dream of scoring on. That’s it…I have no other bad double entendre for this one.
Again, the good doctor wants to know where this beach is in Norway that has all these hot and cute beach volleyball girls. While I don’t know if Viktoria Kjolberg is the hottest Norwegian athlete, she might be the cutest. There is a difference you know!
Rachel Wray is not the home cook with her own show…that is Rachel Ray. Rachel Wray is a former cheerleader turned MMA fighter and while the chairman will tell you that nobody will confuse her with Ronda Rousey in the ring, the good doctor feels she can match her in…
While the good doctor openly wonders why Brazilian athletes have one name, it does allow me to present the only person on this list who has that type of moniker. Erika has become star on the pitch and on the runway, where we have to admit is where we have…
Admittedly, the good doctor’s favorite fencer is Inigo Montoya, but the one I find the most succulent is Poland’s Sylwia Gruchala, a damsel who is never in distress. Has a fencing sword ever looked so good?
Canada has never produced a superstar in the tennis world, but the Great White North has given us the more than attractive, Eugenie Bouchard. While she is a good player, the good doctor wants to play ball on her court!
The good doctor will tell you that he likes watching rhythmic gymnastics for the competitors’ flexibility. How can you not? Now isn’t so much easier to watch when the women are as attractive as Germany’s Sara Radman? I thought so!