Another weekend, another couple movies to watch. As I mentioned in my first review, I have so many movies that I have purchased and not yet watched, that I am always a few years behind. This weekend we tried Criminal (2016). I remember buying this one in a bargain bin at Best Buy a few years ago, and after a few minutes of watching it, I am fully aware of the reason it was in the Bargain Bin!
But first, let us take a look at who is in the film. Costner, Gadot, Reynolds, Oldman and Jones, all stellar actors who have made incredible names for themselves in some of Hollywood’s best films for their genres (Dances with Wolves, The Fugitive, Wonder Woman, The Darkest hour, and Dead pool to name but a few). However, this film appears to be a compilation of top notch actors in a 3rdrate film, and they are only participating in it as it was a commitment to the studio to honour their contracts. (Don’t know if this is the reason, but it sure feels like it!)
Noe for a summary of the plot, nothing original here; a secret agent (Reynolds/Pope) is on a mission to thwart a hacker, called the “Dutchman’s”, played by (Pitt), who plans to launch a nuclear missile to start WWIII. Ok, nothing really new so far, hell I think James Bond had a similar story line in one his many adventures. While Reynolds/Pope is on the case, he gets hit, and in his head are the secrets on how to defeat the bad guy.
Oldman/Wells, is Pope’s (Ryan) boss and knows a Dr. Frank (Jones) who has some experimental techniques for memory transfer. Is this something new? Not really, there have been many movies in the past where memory is transferred from one character to another. But in this film, as this is not a tried and trusted technique, they must attempt this memory transfer with a convicted prisoner (Jerico/Costner) with nothing really to lose, and no repercussions for Wells/Oldman if it fails. Now this role is kind of up Costner’s alley, a dead pan character, with not much emotion, stoic deliveries of lines and little emotion. Yes, Costner makes some good movies, but his delivery is pretty much the same in all films. This movie is no different. The memories are transferred to Jerico/Costner and he commences his search for the bad guy, (via a very circuitous route), recovering Pope’s memories and connecting with Reynolds/Pope’s wife and child; all the while alluding Oldman/Wells who are trying to recapture him and ensure that he is on track for stopping Pitt/Strook in launching the missile to start the next war.
Convoluted right? But there is nothing here that has not been done before, (and probably better). What also makes the movie a lame contender is the misuse of Gadot/Jill Pope as the wife the Reynolds/Bill Pope (Seriously, Jill and Bill? Could the author not have a bit of an imagination?). Her role was basically very minimal and the chances that she could have had to grow and expand the role and make it integral were lost….much like the audience when they watch this film.
The antagonist, Strook “Dutchman”/Pitt was actually pretty lame. What he claimed he could do by hacking is virtually impossible, much like his dutch accent…impossible to achieve. This is a shame as I really liked Pitt when he was in Boardwalk Empire, and I think he has talent, but just requires the proper role or script to make it shine.
Naturally in this film, the good guy wins, Jerico/Costner saves the day and all is well. But what this movie could have used, is a real DC Comic’s mashup. Picture this, Tommy Lee Jones as “TwoFace” from Batman, kidnaps Superman’s father (Costner). As Superman is nowhere to be found Commissioner Gordon (Oldman) from Gotham city, implores the available members of the Justice League; Wonder Woman and Green Lantern (Gadot and Reynolds respectively) to save Superman’s father. Now there is a DC movie to be made, and it would actually play well into their respective wheelhouses…..well ok, Green Lantern (Reynolds) was pretty crappy, so maybe include Marvel’s Deadpool (also Reynolds) instead. Then you would have an action packed movie! It would have everything, action, comedy, special effects, and probably a much better storyline then the movie I just watched. Not a bad idea eh?
Bottom line, were we entertained…..barely. We watched to the end, actually hoping for some excitement…but it did not really happen. As I mentioned earlier, this really feels like a movie that they had to do as a contractual obligation, but that is just a guess on my part.
My rating….3.5/10
If you want to be entertained, and are interested in these actors, find their better works that I mentioned previously and skip this one or leave it in the bargain bin.
Till next time!
Hans
Hans Buchner – Besides being the older brother of the “Chairman” of Notinhalloffame.com proprietor, Hans has recently retired from the Public Service and the RCAF, and is currently working on his first novel, while enjoying the finer things in life, Travel, Fine Wine, Good Scotch and catching up on his movie and television collection.
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