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Cheeseburger Eddie

Cheesburger Eddie
Terry Crews has to be one of the most likable people in Hollywood, regardless of his role. How can we say this? Because he played “Cheeseburger Eddie”, a large convict who could make McDonald’s food appear (we really don’t want to know how) out of nowhere; and we liked him for it! He delivered corny lines and did the robot dance, and again, we liked it. Now, we know we aren’t the only ones!


Charlie Tweeder

Charlie Tweeder
We did not really have a problem with the performance of Scott Caan as Charlie Tweeder, the main Wide Receiver for West Caanan, but we were not exactly sure what it was supposed to be. Was he the ladies’ man, the comedian, or the future prison inmate? It was a little disjointed, but our biggest issue is not buying Scott Caan as an athlete, but wasn’t he a little short to be a Wide Receiver in a solid Texas High School Football program? This was the same guy who stood eye to eye to the diminutive “E” in Entourage.  


Charles Jefferson

Charles Jefferson
In a perfect world, we would nominate the scene where Phoebe Cates came out of the pool. I mean, athletics happen in swimming pools all the time right?   Maybe, we will figure out a Hall of Fame for that.


Phoebe Cates BoobsFast Times at Ridgemont High is not a sports movie, but we do recall a very motivated Linebacker named Charles Jefferson (did he ever get those Earth, Wind & Fire tickets) whose car was “allegedly” totaled by Ridgemont’s rival, Lincoln.   This began the greatest on field annihilation by a defensive Football Player in a motion picture, and we can still hear the “Tackle by Jefferson” in our head; that is when we are not thinking about Phoebe Cates’ boobs.

Lewis Scott

Lewis Scott
Channeling the Charles Barkley “I am not a role model” speech, Lewis Scott is the typical selfish me first basketball player, whose Utah Jazz are facing the Boston Celtics for the NBA Finals. So of course he is kidnapped by a pair of diehard Celtics fans (Daniel Stern and Dan Aykroyd) who believe that by keeping Scott out of the lineup, they can help their beloved Celtics win the title. Does hilarity ensue? Not really. Does the selfish Basketball player learn a lesson about teamwork? Of course he does…this is a Basketball movie after all!  Although….didn’t Stephon Marbury kind of come to resemble Lewis Scott a bit? Just saying.
Marbury



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Celtic Pride (1996)

Actor:
Damon Wayans

Position Portrayed:
Shooting Guard

Played for:
Utah Jazz

Why you should vote for him:
Well, he won the NBA Championship.

Why you should not vote for him:
There are better Wayans roles (and better Basketball ones) than this one.

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