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The Athletes

Abner Goldstein

Clearly the nerd of the Carver High Basketball team, Abner Goldstein was the social misfit of the group. He looked like a fish out of water, and there were many episodes that played off of it. In a way, he was the stereotypical clumsy 70’s Jewish athlete, though it was implied he wasn’t a bad player. Does he get a break for our Hall by being the first (we think) Jewish TV athlete? Based on what he did for stereotypes, we suspect not.
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Ahmad Abdul Rahim

Are we supposed to believe that the only black kid on this California baseball team was not any good? His signature scene in the original film was when he hid himself up a tree, after failing to be a decent player like his brothers, or his idol, Hank Aaron. Still, Ahmad Abdul-Rahim gave the team a quiet cool that they may not have had otherwise, and not just because he was the “token” black kid.
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Alex Grady

Honestly, this entry is only here to throw a bone to Eric Roberts, who for a few years was a promising young actor; that was until “Pretty Woman” came out, and he became Julia Roberts’ older, less talented brother. Sometimes, we just like to be nice, though we are not sure how is supporting role in a Tae Kwon Do movie will get him; though maybe it did help him get on Celebrity Rehab.
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Alex Moran

The slacker in us loved Alex Moran. There was something appealing about the Blue Mountain State Quarterback who was good enough to get his scholarship but was not thinking about the next level (the NFL) and was content to live the college jock dream of booze and babes. However, late in the show’s run, he would go on to set college records and develops a bit of a work ethic; which we did admire, but our inner slacker could not help but think that sold out a bit. Now just what is the passing record at BMS worth?
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Alexis Winston

Ice Castles was more of a sappy love story than an athletic story, but for our purposes we have a champion caliber figure skater who through a freak accident goes blind. She learns to skate with the disability, but it was a film more about making teen girls cry than anything else. Not exactly a winning formula is it?              The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Ice Castles (1978) Actor: Lynn-Holly Johnson Why You Should Vote For Her: Well, if you want to vote based on overcoming the odds, this is about as good as it gets. Why You Should…
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All the Way Mae Mordabito

It is simple really. Madonna does not suck when she does not have to carry a movie. When she is in the lead, the movie is a bomb and her lack of acting skill becomes a major liability. In a lesser role (especially the right one), she can actually become an asset as shown in “A League of Their Own”. In that movie, Madonna played the promiscuous and sultry “All the Way” Mae Mordabito, and with the possible exception of “Desperately Seeking Susan” she was praised for her work and wasn’t skewered by the critics. Again it was simple…she wasn’t…
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Amanda Whurlitzer

Already an Oscar winner by the time the Bad News Bears came out, Tatum O’Neal embarked on her second most famous role as the Starting Pitcher of the “Bad News” Bears. As Amanda Whurlitzer, her story was not just what she accomplished on the diamond, but her struggle to come to terms with her femininity, feelings of family and just being a pre-teen in general. Had she not joined the Bears (Kelly Leak aside), the Bears would have remained in last place which should give this entry a shot for the Hall; considering the iconic stature of the original film.
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Amazing Grace Smith

Seriously? An NBA player is going to stop playing professionally in protest so that the United States will stop their nuclear program? What kind of movie is this, and who thought it would work? At least they got a real NBA player, which is frankly the best praise we can come up with. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Amazing Grace and Chuck (1987) Actor: Alex English Position Portrayed: Small Forward Played for: New York Knicks Why you should vote for him: The only reason we can come up with is that you were a major Denver Nuggets fan in the…
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Anakin Skywalker

There will be some point on this series of websites where we will go into pages upon pages on what George Lucas did wrong in the first Star Wars prequel. (actually, there is a bible worth of wrong) This might be the first step as the pint-sized version of Darth Vader (yippee!) looked nothing like someone who could even hold a light saber let alone become a champion pod racer.
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Andrew Clark

We never saw him wrestle, or really do anything athletic in “The Breakfast Club”, but we are led to believe that Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez) was a star wrestler at Shermer High outside of Chicago. The question we ask is did Andrew Clark continue the wrestling career that was forced upon him by his father and continue to tape the hairy ass cheeks of nerdy classmates, or did he live forever after with Ally Sheedy? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: The Breakfast Club (1985) Actor: Emilio Estevez Played for: Shermer H.S. Why you should vote for him: This remains one…
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Andy Schmidt "The Lover"

A special movie for us because our good friend, Chavo Guerrero Sr. was in it, The One and Only, starred Henry Winkler, as Andy Schmidt, an averaged sized man who got into pro wrestling and struggled to find a persona to make him popular with the crowd. He did find one by basically ripping off the legendary 1950’s grappler (though not acknowledged in this movie), Gorgeous George, but again this is on the ballot because of our good friend Chavo; who we would like to point out beat up the Fonz in a match in the film. The Bullet Points:…
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Anne Marie Chadwick

It was somewhat of a role of female empowerment, watching Anne Marie Chadwick exercise her past demons on the surfboard. The waves are not all that she has to overcome, as Chadwick is at a crossroads in life, like many young women and conquering the surf world is a microcosm for everything else in her life. This is actually a better movie and role than you might think. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Blue Crush (2002) Actor: Kate Bosworth Why you should vote for her: This is actually one of the better female sports roles ever. Why you should not…
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Art Long

If you look at the overall career of Dennis Quaid, your first thought might be…”Holy Shit, this guy has been in way more films than I realized” or “does this guy ever age?” We have stated this in other entries about Quaid roles; in that he is at his best when cast in basic likable characters; much like the case here with the Country and Western singing tough-man fighter, Art Long. Overall, the film was average, and trying to capitalize on the tough-man (basically sloppy boxing) craze, though it failed to capture an audience in its “Rocky meets Cowboy” approach.…
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Artie DeFanzo

It is pretty simple really. If you are a fan of comedian, Artie Lange, you enjoyed this movie. If not, you probably never saw it. Still, we expect a few voted from the “Jack and Coke” contingent on this one. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Artie Lange’s Beer League (2006) Actor: Artie Lange Position Portrayed: Town Drunk Played for: Ed’s Bar & Swill Why you should vote for him: Just playing for Ed’s Bar & Swill should be worth a few votes right there. Why you should not vote for him: This film was not a commercial success, and chances…
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Big Ern Ernie McCracken

Appearing at the beginning and end of “Kingpin”, Ernie McCracken may be our favorite sports villain ever. With the most awesome comb over of all-time, the slimy, womanizing was easily the king of obnoxious behavior and though we developed sympathy for Roy Munson, we could not help but cheer when “Big Ern” won the bowling tournament at the end. There are times we think that Bill Murray can do no wrong. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Kingpin (1996) Actor: Bill Murray Why you should vote for him: He was obnoxious, but a winner. Why you should not vote for him:His…
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Billy "The Great" Hope

You have to respect the method acting of Jake Gyllenhaal who looked every bit of the Light Heavyweight Boxing Champion he portrayed.  As Billy “The Great” Hope, Gyllenhaal’s character undergoes a modern twist of the boxer struggling for redemption after his wife was accidentally shot following a brawl instigated by up and coming contender, Miguel Escobar a la Clubber Lang in Rocky III…minus the shooting of course. (though didn’t Lang inadvertently lead to Mickey’s death).
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Billy "The Kid" McDonnen

Grudge Match may not have been a fan favorite of the critics, but for many this was a fun throwback remembering two of their past favorite actors, at least that is how we viewed it. In this film, Robert DeNiro plays former Light Heavyweight Champion, Billy “The Kid” McDonnen, a braggadocios though successful man living in the past. DeNiro is able to flex his comedic chops, though not necessarily his muscles, as he physically just did not look up to this. Still, this is Robert DeNiro so we will give him a pass!              The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared:…
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Billy Bob

There just seems something right for a movie about Texas High School Football to have a super fat Lineman named Billy Bob. Played by Ron Lester (who looked considerably older than the 28 he was at the time of filming), Billy Bob was the 300 plus pound country bumpkin who had a pig, a pickup truck and a shotgun.  Basically, he was the morbidly obese fat guy that every football film has; only this one wore a cowboy hat. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Varsity Blues (1999) Actor: Ron Lester Position Portrayed: Offensive Lineman Played for: West Canaan HS Why…
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Billy Chapel

With Vin Scully acting as the soundtrack (and it does not get any better than that), Billy Chapel (Kevin Costner) pitched a perfect game against the New York Yankees in what was to be his last game in the Majors. As always, Costner is excellent as an athlete, though this time as an aging Pitcher on the tail end of his career. As he pitches his gem, Chapel reminisces about his personal relationship with his girlfriend, bringing the film to equal parts sports and romance; which may not appeal to the Baseball fans as much, but it did make it…
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Billy Clyde Puckett

On the one hand, we loved 1970’s Burt Reynolds and his slimy, yet undisputable charm. We also love the name “Billy Clyde Puckett” as one of the all-time greatest sports character names. On the other hand, the common criticism for Semi-Tough is that for a movie that looks like it is about Football; it really isn’t. Rather it is a love triangle set on the backdrop of a gridiron with a spoof on New Age thinking (which doesn’t exactly age well). We’ll say this, Reynolds got the girl in the end, so….victory for the Bandit? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared:…
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Billy Flynn

Spoiler Alert: In this male weepfest, wouldn’t it have been better if Ricky Schroeder died at the end instead of Jon Voight? Just saying. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: The Champ (1979) Actor: Jon Voight Why you should vote for him: He did win his final fight after all. Why you should not vote for him: But he won that fight to take care of the “Ricker”.
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Billy Hoyle

Billy Hoyle didn’t look like he could shoot hoops, but that was the point wasn’t it? With his goofy attire, and country look, Hoyle was able to hustle on the street courts, though you have to question just how good he was at it. Sure, he hustled Sidney Dean, but for what; $64 dollars? He had to escape to L.A. to avoid collections from bookees, he was hustled by Dean for a lot more than he got him for, and he lost Gloria Clemente (Rosie Perez) at the end. However, he did prove that white men can in fact jump.…
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