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Johnny Walker

Johnny Walker
Let’s make sure we understand this correctly. The guy who played Farmer Ted in Sixteen Candles; a character that we will make a claim was the absolute geekiest of all High School related film characters, is supposed to be considered believable as the most widely recruited Quarterback in his senior year in High School?


Let’s add some more fuel to this. This is also the same guy who only a couple years before was the nerdy brain in the Breakfast Club, and had a bra on top of his head while designing the perfect girl in Weird Science.

So again we want to make sure we understand. Anthony Michael Hall who again was coming off this trifecta of geek roles was a Quarterback whose girlfriend was Uma Thurman, and whose sidekick was the future Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), who was one of his tormentors in an earlier film (Weird Science).

Nobody bought Hall in this role, and though we respect the fact he wanted to avoid being typecast, we don’t believe Farmer Ted is being recruited by any Football power in Texas.

Joe Kingman

Joe Kingman
Disney plus the Rock plus Football equals…..well it equals a Football movie that isn’t much about Football, nor does it feature a Dwayne Johnson that is very interesting. As Joe Kingman, Johnson is a star Quarterback who is a playboy (though Disneyfied), and beyond a few cute scenes, we aren’t given much here. It is a lot better than the “Tooth Fairy” at least.


Joe Kane

Joe Kane
Usually the Quarterback is the star of the show, but despite being the football character with the most screen time in the Program, Joe Kane did not feel like the main guy. Maybe it was because the actor playing him (Craig Sheffer) never really had any other major role, or maybe it was because he started out as a Heisman candidate, and flamed out due to personal demons. Perhaps it was because this was not a film with a standard Hollywood sports ending, and that the attempt to go into the seedier side of College Football didn’t go far enough.


Here is our initial thought; “The Program” may eventually get an inductee into the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame, but we are not sure we would bet on Joe Kane.

Joe Bob Priddy

Joe Bob Priddy
It is a little hard to watch the racist “good ole boy” Joe Bob Priddy in North Dallas Forty without cringing at his backwards thoughts and misogynist actions; yet he is a form of guilty entertainment, and every time he was on the screen we couldn’t wait to see what he would do next. That makes him a worthwhile candidate for the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame.