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#95 Overall, Cordarelle Patterson, Free Agent, Returner, #3 Kickers & Special Teams2024 Pre-Season Rank #94, 2023 Pre-Season Rank #93, 2022 Pre-Season Rank #80, 2021 Pre-Season Rank #91, 2020 Pre-Season Rank #99. Patterson is here… -
#9 Overall, Myles Garrett, Cleveland Browns, Defensive End, #4 Defensive Lineman/Linebackers: Pass Rushers2024 Pe-Season Rank #17, 2023 Pre-Season Rank #34, 2022 Pre-Season Rank #53, 2021 Pre-Season Rank #99, 2020 Pre-Season Rank #144. Peak Period: 2020-24… -
#59 Overall, CeeDee Lamb, Dallas Cowboys, #12 Wide Receiver2024 Pre-Season Rank #75, 2023: Pre-Season Rank #148. Peak Period: 2020-24 CeeDee Lamb has been the top weapon for the Dallas Cowboys over… -
#32 Overall, Stephon Gilmore, Free Agent, #2 Cornerback2024 Pre-Season Rank #34, 2023 Pre-Season Rank #41, 2022 Pre-Season Rank #55, 2021 Pre-Season Rank #55, 2020 Pre-Season Rank #54. Peak Period 2016-20…in Cornerbacks
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Harry Doyle
Oct 26, 2013
Published in
The 2014 Fictitious Contributor Inductees
Class of 2014 Contributor Inductee: Harry Doyle
Major League (1989), Major League 2 (1989) & Major League: Back to the Minors (1998)
Cleveland Indians Play-by-Play Announcer
We can tell you that it was a dog fight between five candidates back and forth all year as to who was going to be the first “Contributor” added to our Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame, but no matter who was chosen out of those five, it was going to be a great one.
The selection of Harry Doyle to this Hall, gives us what we will argue is the first real “soundtrack” (and likely only) to our little cyber-institution. Many sports films have used the play-by-play calls during the big game, but were any of them even remotely as integral to the film as Harry Doyle was?
The amazing thing was, he wasn’t even necessary to the plot. He didn’t move it along and he didn’t even interact with the players or management! What he did do was set the tone with every scene that he was in. When the Indians stunk, he was drunk and surly, and when they were good it was his exuberance that told the story.
Great sports films give us great lines, and when you think of them, they are mostly attributed to Doyle:
“Ball 12”
“Just a but outside”
“The hell with it…Nobody’s listening anyway”.
Those are just the tip of the iceberg in Harry Doyle quotes, and considering that Bob Uecker played it, it was no shock that he was one of the best parts of the films. A former Baseball player himself, Uecker translated his quick wit and acerbic tongue to become one of the better known baseball announcers and carved his own niche as an actor and performer.
When you think of the Major League films, Doyle may not be the first character you think of, but his voice and call of the game is; and let’s face it, he was the only reason to watch the third film!
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Happy Kuykendahl
Oct 26, 2013
Published in
The Contributors
Ripping off from Wikipedia (which quoted Leonard Maltin), J.T. Walsh made a living as a character actor who made his living playing “quietly sinister white-collar sleazeballs”; which is exactly what we got when he played “Happy” the ironically named Western University Basketball booster who was showing Pete Bell (Nick Nolte) who really ran the program. We can’t say that this was the meatiest of roles for Walsh, but we just wanted to pay homage to someone who did not always get his due.
The Bullet Points:
TV Show Appeared:
Blue Chips (1994)
Actor:
J.T. Walsh
Role Portrayed:
Western University Booster
Why you should vote for him:
Sometimes it just makes sense to vote for good character actors and what they bring to the table.
Why you should not vote for him:
It is just a booster after all.
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Gus Lobel
Oct 26, 2013
Published in
The Contributors
Is it possible we have seen one too many Clint Eastwood performances where he is a cranky old man whose body is failing him, gives off a tough exterior and has problems with his children that he has to reconcile? Yep, one too many. This time, Eastwood is a Baseball scout for…hell we don’t know. Does it real matter? Now get off my lawn!
The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Trouble with the Curve (2012)
Actor:
Clint Eastwood
Role Portrayed:
Baseball Scout
Why you should vote for him:
No matter what, it is still Clint damn it!
Why you should not vote for him:
It felt like Eastwood phoned it in; or we just saw this too many times before; only better.
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Guru Maurice Pitka
Oct 26, 2013
Published in
The Contributors
This is an open letter to Mike Myers. Why? Not only did you destroy your career, you added to the hex that is the Toronto Maple Leafs, as your beloved team became associated with this shit. For a Scarborough boy, my God, how could you not know any better?