After Mr. Saturday Night and City Slickers II, Billy Crystal continued the trifecta of misses with “Forget Paris”, a romantic comedy where he played an NBA Referee. As much as we did like the cameos with NBA players and subconsciously wish we could have thrown out Kareem in a game, this was a movie where sports fans would fast forward to the few good parts; ie: on the court. Since there were not that many of those, it was actually pretty quick to get through. We know we aren’t the only ones who did that with this movie.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Forget Paris (1995)

Actor:
Billy Crystal

Role Portrayed:
NBA Referee

Why you should vote for him:
He had decent interaction with legitimate NBA players.

Why you should not vote for him:
Basketball was a backdrop for what was really a chick flick.

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According to the bio of Mickey Goldmill, he had a spectacular record of 72 and 1, with 70 by way of Knockout; which incidentally was a much better record than his famed protégé, Rocky Balboa, who had a myriad of losses prior to facing Apollo Creed in Philadelphia. The Jewish pugilist claimed that he knocked a guy out of the ring on the same night that Luis Firpo did the same to Jack Dempsey, and stated that since he had no manager, he never got noticed, nor did he get a chance. 

Mickey considered Rocky to be a good fighter, which threw away his talent and thus often berated the “Italian Stallion” calling him a “bum” in front of everyone. Mickey would eventually come to manage and train Balboa, when he was pegged to receive the bi-centennial promotional match against the Heavyweight Champion, Creed, and though Rocky did not win, he went the distance with the champ, becoming the first ever to do so, and was living up to the potential that Mickey knew he had all along.

We will say this though. We hated the way Mickey was displayed in Rocky III, having the champ duck quality opponents and dying unceremoniously after the Balboa/Lang fight. It made you wonder, did Mickey not know the secret of the “Eye of the Tiger”?

The Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame is pleased to welcome Mickey Goldmill into the Class of 2017.


The Bullet Points:
Movies Appeared:
Rocky (1976)
Rocky II (1979)
Rocky III (1982)

Actor:
Burgess Meredith

Role Portrayed:
Trainer of Rocky Balboa

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Just how many tackles to the head did Dauber take before he was named to be a coach? The dumber than dirt Michael Dybinski was a solid player for Hayden Fox at Minnesota State, but couldn’t they have given this guy one brain cell to make it look like this moron could be an effective coach?

Although it was a little difficult to believe that the closest friend of the backup Quarterback was the Head Trainer of the team, we did enjoy the sweet role of Max Corkle (Jack Warden) as the only mortal aware of the true identity of Warren Beatty’s character. Jack Warden was at his nicest and was perfect as the everyman who helped out the new maverick owner of the Los Angeles Rams become its starting Quarterback. Sure, the believability scale has to be morphed, but someone had to be that liaison between the afterlife and present, and why not Jack Warden?



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Heaven Can Wait (1978)

Actor:
Jack Warden

Role Portrayed:
Trainer of the Los Angeles Rams

Why you should vote for him:
His role was actually necessary to keep the tone of the picture afloat.

Why you should not vote for him:
He missed the Super Bowl, and nobody on his team seemed to notice.

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