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Clubber Lang
Sep 06, 2013
Published in
The 2019 Fictitious Athlete Inductees
Rocky III may have been the movie where the Italian Stallion sold his soul to the box office, but it was also the flick that gave us one of the greatest fads of the 1980’s, Mr. T. He was far from a great actor, but he looked perfect as James “Clubber” Lang; the hardened fighter from Chicago who learned to box in prison. Actually, he was portrayed as someone who Rocky couldn’t beat at all.
They never claimed in the original Rocky movie that Balboa was undefeated going into the initial match with Apollo Creed. In fact, Rocky’s record wasn’t that good, though still it was never implied that he was destroyed in a fight. As such, Clubber Lang was the first man we saw demolish our cinematic hero in the ring (It was a second round KO) and take the World Heavyweight Championship. Of course Rocky got revenge in pure cinematic fashion, but Clubber was the man we wanted to hate. Actually we hated him so much, that we couldn’t get enough of him and turned him into a “good guy”. Mr. T became the top television action star of the 80’s; and yes it was all because of Clubber Lang.
Cesar Dominguez
Sep 06, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
With perennial FAHOF actor, Woody Harrelson as an opponent in Ron Shelton as a director, how did this fail? This is such a shame, as this is our only real shot to vote for an underrated actor in Antonio Banderas. Sorry, Mr. Cesar Dominguez, this wasn’t your fight.
Butch Coolidge
Sep 06, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
We did not see much of Butch Coolidge’s in ring performance where he pummeled a boxer to death and shafted over crime boss, Marcellus Wiley, who he had earlier agreed to take a dive, but it was his other actions in the movie that made Butch a memorable character in the cult classic, Pulp Fiction.
We saw Butch take out Vincent Vega (John Travolta) and save the man who wanted him dead for his earlier betrayal (Marcellus) from continued sodomizing; you know, your typical weekend. More than all of that it put Bruce Willis back in the “cool kids” table at Hollywood, where we will argue he still remains.
Kenny Powers
Sep 05, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
Generally it takes a bit of a time for fictitious sports athletes to become legendary, but Kenny Powers did so immediately right from the first episode on HBO’s Eastbound and Down.
Loosely based on former pitcher John Rocker (especially after that infamous SI interview), took the Redneck southern stereotype and cranked it to eleven on the “Crudometer”. Nearly every episode, gives a new instant classic moment and we don’t know whether we really want to cheer for the mulleted one as his wallowing in baseball obscurity is a constant recipe for laughter. This could well be the first “active” Fictitious Athlete to enter the Hall of Fame.
The Bullet Points:
TV Show Appeared:
Eastbound and Down (2009-)
Actor:
Danny McBride
Position Portrayed:
Pitcher
Played for:
Charros (Mexican League), Myrtle Beach Mermen
Why you should vote for him:
Because it is Kenny “Fucking” Powers!
Why you should not vote for him:
In terms of pitching performance on the show, he is well below the hurler’s version of the “Mendoza Line”.