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Joe Bob Priddy
Sep 06, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
It is a little hard to watch the racist “good ole boy” Joe Bob Priddy in North Dallas Forty without cringing at his backwards thoughts and misogynist actions; yet he is a form of guilty entertainment, and every time he was on the screen we couldn’t wait to see what he would do next. That makes him a worthwhile candidate for the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame.
Henry Rowengartner
Sep 06, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
Although the premise of an unathletic twelve year old suddenly having the ability to throw a wicked fastball due to a freak arm injury, it was easy to overlook because the film was clean fun, and reminded us that Baseball is supposed to be a game that we enjoy and not take so damned seriously. Maybe we are also giving it a pass because the twelve year old in question (Thomas Ian Nicholas), gave oral to a pre-train wreck Tara Reid in American Pie.
Hamilton Porter
Sep 06, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
The tradition of the fat kid being the Catcher continues, as does the same trend of said fat kid being the team smart ass. Patrick Renna made a pre-teen career out of that role, but at least in the Sandlot, he was in a good film, and was given a couple of clever lines.
Clubber Lang
Sep 06, 2013
Published in
The 2019 Fictitious Athlete Inductees
Rocky III may have been the movie where the Italian Stallion sold his soul to the box office, but it was also the flick that gave us one of the greatest fads of the 1980’s, Mr. T. He was far from a great actor, but he looked perfect as James “Clubber” Lang; the hardened fighter from Chicago who learned to box in prison. Actually, he was portrayed as someone who Rocky couldn’t beat at all.
They never claimed in the original Rocky movie that Balboa was undefeated going into the initial match with Apollo Creed. In fact, Rocky’s record wasn’t that good, though still it was never implied that he was destroyed in a fight. As such, Clubber Lang was the first man we saw demolish our cinematic hero in the ring (It was a second round KO) and take the World Heavyweight Championship. Of course Rocky got revenge in pure cinematic fashion, but Clubber was the man we wanted to hate. Actually we hated him so much, that we couldn’t get enough of him and turned him into a “good guy”. Mr. T became the top television action star of the 80’s; and yes it was all because of Clubber Lang.