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Darryl Palmer
Aug 12, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
In this mess of a movie, we remember three things. The first is that Rebecca DeMornay was scorching hot. The second was that there was no way we believed that Darryl Palmer was seriously able to chase Roger Maris’ record. The third was that we thought Neil Simon never watched Baseball. Sadly we will admit that this film is a strange guilty pleasure of our, and we wager we are not alone in that.
Crash Davis
Aug 11, 2013
Published in
The 2014 Fictitious Athlete Inductees
Class of 2014 Inductee: Crash Davis
Bull Durham (1988)
Durham Bulls Catcher
Let’s all agree that Kevin Costner is a God for this type of Hall of Fame. If we are all in unison on that, than it stands to reason that his greatest athletic (and maybe greatest period) character, Crash Davis deserves to enter the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame on the first full ballot.
Arriving to Durham, North Carolina as “the player to be named later” Crash Davis arrives to his latest minor league team, charged with the task of mentoring a dimwitted young flamethrower.
Davis may be one of the most cerebral players in the minors, a mind you watch not only mentor the team but the older coach, struggling to get his team in gear. By proxy, we not only have one of the greatest baseball characters but a manager in the dugout.
Crash, a veteran of the “show” for twenty-one days makes the most of the talent he does have and though he never really had the overall physical skills to be Johnny Bench, he did carve out the distinction of being the all time record holder of Minor League Home Runs, a title he didn’t want, but impressive nevertheless.
At the end of what many of called the best sports film of all time, Crash gets his woman, the sultry and equally intelligent Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon) and it is implied that he would embark into a career as a Manager, and damned if we didn’t see him becoming as successful as so many other Catchers turned Managers.
Score one for minor league baseball, respecting streaks and long, slow, soft, deep wet kisses that last three days.
Oh my!
Cecil "Stud" Cantrell
Aug 12, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
Long before he was Gil Grissom, William Petersen was Cecil “Stud” Cantrell, the Player/Coach of the 1950’s Gulf Coast squad, the Tampico Stogies. Before we let the coolness of his character’s name and team name sink in, the HBO movie in question (Long Gone) has been correctly described as a hybrid between Slap Shot and Bull Durham. With that equation, and with Cantrell leading (and stealing) the show with hard drinking and hard partying ways, the film has become a bit of a cult classic, especially since it can’t be found easily. Had this gained a bigger audience, we think that Cantrell would have a better shot for our Hall.
Carmen Ronzonni
Aug 12, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
While his brother’s penis was becoming the gateway for Hollywood starlets, Jimmy Baio was given maybe one line a week on “Soap” and dazzled us with “air” impressions of Luis Tiant in the first Bad News Bears’ sequel. Actually, he was there to replace Tatum O’Neal who declined to appear in the film, and give a New York attitude to appeal to…those who loved impressions of Luis Tiant. Actually, he couldn’t pitch until Coach Leak basically taught him to simply just throw the ball. Damn, Kelly’s dad made everything look so easy.