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Lance Harbor
Sep 07, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
Didn’t Lance Harbor look like a plethora of Quarterbacks who were stars in college, or maybe the pros? So did Jesse Palmer, but he was the drizzling shits and kept getting chances because he looked the part. Actually, had it not been for what was a career ending injury for Harbor, we wager he would have had the same career:
A star at Florida (though missing out on a Sugar Bowl win)
A third round pick, backing up…..let’s say for the Jets.
Start a couple of times and stink.
Become a broadcaster by 27.
Actually, that might have been better than becoming a High School Football Coach and replacing Bud Kilmer. We wonder if there is a statue of Harbor outside the stadium in West Canaan?
The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Varsity Blues (1999)
Actor:
Paul Walker
Position Portrayed:
Quarterback
Played for:
West Canaan HS
Why you should vote for him:
He looks the part more than most on the ballot.
Why you should not vote for him:
He was not on the field for the big game at the end of the movie.
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Julian Washington
Sep 07, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
This isn’t the best role that L.L. Cool J ever had; at least not the one where he was given a chance to shine. Julian Washington was a whiner who complained about lack of plays and the scene that we remember most is when a kid told him how his dad said he didn’t play hard anymore because he already got paid. Actually, he may have nailed the part of a modern athlete.
The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Any Given Sunday (1999)
Actor:
L.L. Cool J
Position Portrayed:
Running Back
Played for:
Miami Sharks
Why you should vote for him:
How about for that suit he wore at that party where the mayor was at? That alone showed why the ladies loved “Cool J”
Why you should not vote for him:
He was mostly whining in the film.
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Jake Taylor
Sep 07, 2013
Published in
The 2021 Fictitious Athlete Inductees
Jake Taylor may not have been the one given the best lines in Major League, but he was the heart and soul of the team and the movie (and writing that did not feel like a cliché). It was Taylor who melded the team together off the field and on the field on his gimpy knees ran out the surprise bunt (after the brilliant called shot to field) and suggested the play that Willie “Mays” Hayes score from second. Taylor also got to bed an in her prime Rene Russo which was likely of a higher quality than he was finding in the Mexican League. Overall, we wish he never signed on for Major League 2, as the conversion to Interim Manager was unlikely and the decision to keep him in the franchise seemed contrived. Granted, at Tom Berenger’s advanced age, it made sense, but surely there had to be a better use for him…or maybe don’t use him at all.
Jack Parkman
Sep 07, 2013
Published in
The Athletes
When we watched Jack Parkman in Major League 2, we subconsciously wondered if his anger was residual affect from being jilted in “An Officer and a Gentleman”. Lame joke aside, Major League II was clearly not as good as the original but we enjoyed and bought David Keith as the arrogant slugger who coined a Ricky Vaughn pitch as the “Masturbator”. Although we were not supposed to like Parkman as the bad guy, he was a bit of a guilty pleasure.