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Dirk Diggler
Jun 14, 2014
Published in
The Artists
If we ever do a Fictitious Porn Star Hall of Fame (and we are not planning to) the inaugural inductee would have to be Dirk Diggler. As we are not, you may have forgotten that Dirk qualifies for the Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when he did an abysmal song, The Touch, which might have been better had the vocals been featured more prominently as he requested. Of course, we never did get a chance to see if he would have made it as the “magic” remained in the studios when they failed to pay for the recording sessions.
The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Boogie Nights (1997)
Actor:
Mark Wahlberg
Songs you might remember:
The Touch
Why you should vote for him:
Can we simply just say that it is because it is Dirk “F***ing” Diggler?
Why you should not vote for him:
Not only could he not sing, he was oblivious to the fact.
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Dingoes Ate my Baby
Jun 14, 2014
Published in
The Artists
From what is one of our favorite TV shows, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the werewolf character of “Oz” was the leader of one of the coolest band names of all time (real or fictitious), “Dingoes ate my Baby”. We heard them periodically, but were their music relevant to make a difference here? It didn’t, but again, we are a sucker for the name of this band.
The Bullet Points:
TV Show Appeared:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996-99)
Actors:
Seth Green (Oz)
And we have no idea who else made this band
Songs you might remember:
Shadows
Why you should vote for them:
Can we again state that we love the band’s name?
Why you should not vote for them:
For a television show that had a lot of fans, and developed a substantial cult audience, can even the most devote fans name a song they did?
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Dill Scallion
Jun 14, 2014
Published in
The Artists
A mixed reviewed mockumentary, Dill Scallion billed itself as the Spinal Tap of Country Music. The protagonist, Dill Scallion was a dimwitted bus driver turned superstar, turned bum again. The film wasn’t bad, but it was barely seen and when you refer to yourself as the version of something else, you have to wonder aloud how good you can really be.
The Bullet Points:
Movies Appeared:
Dill Scallion (1999)
Actor:
Billy Burke
Songs you might remember:
Probably none
Why you should vote for him:
The film actually wasn’t bad, with an interesting cast.
Why you should not vote for him:
As we said, the tag line alone indicates its second rate.
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Diaper Rash
Jun 14, 2014
Published in
The Artists
What does every second rate 80’s comedy film need? The answer is a second rate 80’s band. The all girl Hairspray Rock Band, Vixen, lent their “talents” in a minor role as the band, Diaper Rash in the 1984 film, Hardbodies.