Caddyshack (1980)

Groundskeeper

Did you know that a few Baseball and Football franchise Halls of Fame have inducted groundskeepers to their respective Halls of Fame?  Chances are they did a better job than Carl Spackler (Bill Murray) who plied his trade at the Bushwood Country Club.

We do know for certain, that Spackler is the most quoted groundskeeper of all time, and for almost all of us, the most memorable.  

This is the man who ogled middle-aged women, discussed his experiences with relatives of the Dalia Lama, loved his grass (literally), “ate doody” and feuded with a gopher.

As strange as it all sounds, Caddyshack would not have been half of the movie without him, and we have one of the many films where we worship the genius of Bill Murray, and with that we are inducting our first character from Caddyshack.

The Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame is proud to welcome Carl Spackler to the Class of 2015.

Chris Rock as a leading man always seems to fail. However, Chris Rock in a complimentary comedic role rarely misses. Rock played “Caretaker” in the 2005 Adam Sandler remake of the Longest Yard, and he played it with full comedic effect; in a complete 180 from the original Caretaker.

Rock was not an athlete, but his job was to provide the laughs, which he certainly did. The issue we may have had is that in the scene where he died, the empathy we had for the character wasn’t there, as other than his jokes, we did not learn that much about him. This might be the reason why the “other” Caretaker could enter the Hall first.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
The Longest Yard (2005)

Actor:
Chris Rock

Role Portrayed:
Manager to the Mean Machine

Why you should vote for him:
This was the type of role that Chris Rock was perfect for; this film is not half as funny without him in it.

Why you should not vote for him:
You might prefer the James Hampton version.

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We think every time we discuss any character in the Longest Yard, we will open a debate as to which version is better: especially when we are talking about the same character in both of the films. For the record, we prefer the original, but respect the remake, and will leave it at that.

With that said, although James Hampton did not have the comedic timing of Chris Rock, he did have the social conscious of the film in his portrayal and his subtleties that helped to make the goodness of others shine. As such, when he passed away in the movie it was more of a blow than when the same end happened to Rock. Somehow, buried in the criticism of the remake, is the forgotten portrayal of the original “Caretaker”; and that should not have happened.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
The Longest Yard (1974)

Actor:
James Hampton

Role Portrayed:
Manager to the Mean Machine

Why you should vote for him:
His subtle portrayal is one of the most undervalued performances in sports film history.

Why you should not vote for him:
You might prefer the Chris Rock version.

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Okay, we know that Bud Kilmer was supposed to be the bad guy here, but was he really that different from a lot of Texas High School coaches? Consider that the film portrayed his coaching record as impeccable, winning multiple championships at a pace whereby the stadium was named after him and a bronze statue of him was outside of the aforementioned facility. However…….

He showed himself to be arrogant and a tad racist, and put the game ahead of his player’s well-being. He did rule with an iron fist, but a player’s mutiny took place under his watch. Actually, when he lost control, we kind of understood why Angelina Jolie does not talk to her father that much.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Varsity Blues (1999)

Actor:
Jon Voight

Role Portrayed:
Head Coach

Why you should vote for him:
He was a winner of many championships.

Why you should not vote for him:
The Dawson’s Creek guy got one over on him. How the hell did happen?

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