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The Artists

1 Plus 2 1/2

There are two things we want to make sure people understand. The first is that we don’t hate Elvis Presley. Actually, we love a lot of his music and will even say that their aspects of his impact that might even be underrated. The second is that love doesn’t extend to his acting and choice of films, as he seemed to have the acting range of a toaster. The worse thing with Elvis is that his movies got worse as his career continued. In Spinout, he starred as Mike McCoy, the leader of 1 Plus 2 1/2, a car racer,…
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2ge+her

At the height of the boy band craze (although, did it ever really leave?), MTV decided to naturally capitalize by making a TV movie (their first original one), which spawned a television series. It was an intelligent parody with each “traditional” boy band role covered (the cute one, the shy one, the bad boy, and the older brother) with songs that straddled on the border of satire and cheese, and actually spawned albums that cracked the Billboard Hot 200. Had the premature death of one of the members (Michael Cuccione: The “Cute One”) not have taken place, it is conceivable…
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5 Neat Guys

The greatest 1950’s singing group from Melonville came back in a series of infomercials though they let us know that the 50’s weren’t so innocent after all. It was hard to believe, with their sweaters (emblazoned with letters that spelled out their group), soft harmonies and calm demeanor that they are the ones that gave us “Patsy has the Largest Breasts in Town”. That song, and the SCTV connection should get them a vote or two, though we admit there are better Second City choices. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: SCTV (1977-1981) Actors: Dave Thomas John Candy Eugene Levy…
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7 Degrees Celsius

With a pair of sketches on Saturday Night Live making fun of the Boy Bands which were popular at the time, 7 Degrees Celsius channeled a poor man’s N Sync with their look. Realistically, making fun of Boy Bands is like shooting fish in a barrel, and there are actually better parodies of the genre on the ballot. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Saturday Night Live (2000) Actors: Chris Kattan Jimmy Fallon Horatio Sanz Chris Parnell Freddie Prinze Jr. Songs you might remember: AOL Why you should vote for him them: Jimmy Fallon is still successful….only if you are…
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A.D.D.

The failed drummer in all of us (ok, the person writing this) really identified with the character of Robert “Fish” Fishman who was destined for stardom until his original band that sold him out to get a record deal by replacing him with a record executive’s nephew sold him out. Broke, alone and living in sister’s attic, Fish winds up through the standard comedic turn of events in his nephew’s band. After a YouTube clip where he drums naked, the band receives a shot, and proves to be the real deal. They would open at the end of the film…
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Adrian Van Voorhies Seven, The

Other then Michael McKean, does it matter who is in the Adrian Van Voorhies Seven?   From the Martin Short show, Primetime Glick, we have the house band featuring Adrian Van Voorhies. Van Voorhies (McKean) was given a fictional backstory as a Dutch classically trained musician who spent time on a cruise ship. As for the rest of the group; does it really matter? Now how do we get a special wing for McKean? The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Primetime Glick (2001) Actors: Michael McKean …and others of course Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for him…
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Adult Education

When Hall & Oates officially entered the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, did it usher in the respect that the great Blue Eyed Soul duo finally deserved? Perhaps the occasional cheesy video and Oates’ moustache didn’t help, but will a Hall & Oates cover band help in the comedy, She’s Out of My League? Considering the other characters mocked it, and the only featured performer in the band was the goofy sidekick named Stainer, we are not sure that it well helps change the incorrect perception of the band, although for the record, they were a good cover band!
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Afton Cooper

We aren’t sure of this qualifies as a candidate, but out of respect to the popular night time soap opera, Dallas, we are going to move ahead with the nomination of Afton Cooper. Played by Audrey Landers, Cooper was one of many love interests for J.R. Ewing and for our purposes was an aspiring singer; who if we remember correctly played a couple gigs. We guess this qualifies. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Dallas (1981-89) Actor: Audrey Landers Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for her: We don’t have a real good reason. Why you should not…
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Alcatraaaz

Like so many suburban white pre-teens, Bart Simpson became enamored with the world of Rap Music resulting in him sneaking out to attend the Murder 4 Life tour starring Alcatraaaz. Bart actually raps on stage, meets 50 Cent (playing himself) and in scenarios that only happen in Springfield has Alcatraaaz and his entourage draw their guns at Principal Skinner only to have the rapper calm everything down by initiating a House Party. I thin the same thing happened to us when we were ten years old. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: The Simpsons (2005) Actors: We aren’t sure who…
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Aldous Snow

We did not see much of his music in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but Russell Brand stole scene after scene as the eccentric Rock Star, Aldous Snow.   In his own vehicle, “Get Him to the Greek”, we see him after his disastrous single “African Child” turns him into a laughing stock of the music industry and a young record executive (Jonah Hill) comes up with the idea to resurrect his career by performing at the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles in a tenth anniversary show of his legendary concert there. Of course, you have to “Get Him to the Greek” which…
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Alice Bowie

At the end of Cheech & Chong’s first film, the stoned out duo performed and won a “Battle of the Bands” as “Alice Bowie”, a name that was an obvious amalgamation of Alice Cooper and David Bowie; two of the biggest names in music at the time. The song was actually a minor hit years earlier for Cheech and Chong, and actually was a decent way to show Cheech’s musical skills. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Up in Smoke (1978) Actors: Tommy Chong & Cheech Marin Songs you might remember: Earache My Eye Why you should vote for them: Comedians…
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Alien

James Franco appears as “Alien”, the wannabe rapper and gangster in Spring Breakers. We saw a bit of his rap, which we guess is enough to qualify him for this ballot, though we suspect that doesn’t give him much of a chance here. Now if we ever create a fictitious douchy hall for white trash rappers, this is a lock! The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Spring Breakers (2013) Actor: James Franco Songs you might remember: Hangin’ with Da Dopeboys. Why you should vote for them: Watching him Rap was a guilty pleasure. Why you should not vote for him: If…
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Alpa Chino

From Tropic Thunder, a movie that satires countless aspects of Hollywood, Alpa Chino was a closeted rapper who was hoping that the film of the same name was going to be his break as an actor. Already a star in the hip-hop industry, Alpa Chino followed what many other successful rappers did; they try to make themselves a mogul. Alpa Chino was promoting his energy drink and candy bar (known as Bust A Nut) throughout the film and while we don’t know if he ever made it as an actor, he was at least presented as a star musician. We…
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Alphie and Bibi

First off; congratulations if you were able to sit through this dreck in one sitting. If you haven’t, what you have missed is the saga of Alphie and Bibi two sweet and innocent folk singers from Saskatchewan who are signed by an evil rock svengali named Mr. Boogaloo (let that name sink in for a minute) who corrupts Bibi by turning her into a Glam Rock bitch and beats the crap out if Alphie for refusing to sell out. Now how could this have not been a hit? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: The Apple (1980) Actors: George Gilmore (Alphie)…
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Alvin and the Chipmunks

Here is one of the most interesting nominees on the ballot. Alvin and the Chipmunks was the brainchild of Ross Bagdasarian Sr., who created the voices of the furry creatures by speeding up the playback of his own voice. It seems simple now, but the effort resulted in Grammy Awards for Engineering and two number one songs. Bagdasarian Sr., adopted the Caucasian sounding name of David Seville, who was the de facto caretaker of the Chipmunks, given the names of Alvin, Simon and Theodore. The first hit, the Witch Doctor, technically did not include the Chipmunks, as the main voice…
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Andrew Carver

Yeah, we know. Nobody watched Showgirls for whatever the character Andrew Carver did, nor do we remember what he did ourselves. We do recall that he was presented as Rock star of some sort, so what the hell, he gets on the ballot. Thank you, Elizabeth Berkley for your dream of being a dancer!
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Andromeda

There was no way that we could resist not putting this on the ballot. From a 1980 episode of “Buck Rogers in the 25th Century” we have a band whose corrupt manager (played by Law & Order’s Jerry Orbach) put a mind control on their music from a concert so that the youth of the universe will riot. Throw in Judy Landers as one of the band members and we have an instant classic! The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Buck Rogers in the 25th Century (1980) Actors: Jerry Orbach (Lars Mangros) Nancy Frangione (Karana) Judy Landers (Joanna) Leonard Lightfoot…
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Andy Bernard

Andy’s singing past is first unveiled is that he used to be a member of an a capella group at Cornell University. We would see more singing and guitar playing from the “Nard Dog”, culminating in his failure at the finale of the Office where he broke into the audition of “America’s Next Great A Capella Star” and becomes a YouTube sensation as “Baby Wawa” when he breaks down crying in front of the judges. If you are a fan of the Office; could Bernard get in before Scrantonicity? The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: The Office (2006-12) Actor: Ed…
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AntiMatter

Who the hell was AntiMatter and why are they here? This was a band that helped Wonder Woman decipher clues on an album cover to find a folk singer who faked his own death. The why is irrelevant to us. All we know is that our favorite Wonder Woman ever (Lynda Carter); was aided by a fictitious band that had Rick Springfield in it. That is equal parts cheese and cool, and enough to get on our ballot. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Wonder Woman (1978) Actors: Rick Springfield and a bunch of nobodies Songs you might remember: Nothing…
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Appolonia

This is another that we almost forgot about, but when you have Appolonia playing a character named…Appolonia, you can see why we might have overlooked it. She played a cocktail waitress turned singer who hooked up with Lorenzo Lamas. We aren’t sure if this is an upgrade or a downgrade from Prince though. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Falcon Crest (1986) Actor: Appolonia Kotero Songs you might remember: Fire in Your Eyes Why you should vote for him her: There was a time when Appolonia was considered one of the hottest women on the planet. Why you should not…
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April

We will go on record stating that we have no understanding of the Madea persona from the Tyler Perry franchise of films. Frankly, we always thought those movies wouldn’t be bad, if Tyler Perry in an old woman fat suit wasn’t in them. In one of those films, “I Can Do Bad All By Myself”, we are introduced to April, an alcoholic singer who gets advice from someone in a fat suit. We will say that at least April (Taraji P. Henson) can sing, which is better than a lot of fictitious singers can say.   The Bullet Points: Movie…
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Arthur Hodgson and the Kneecaps

Another obscure fictitious act that we had to put on the ballot due to our mad respect for the Rutles movie, we have Arthur Hodgson and the Kneecaps, who were also managed by Leggy Mountbatten, the manager the Rutles. We learned they were an avant garde act, who ran afoul of Rutles’ star, Ron Nasty. They might have been dropped anyway as their three albums (Knees Up!, Absolutely Knee and 200 Kneecaps) were not huge sellers. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: All You Need is Cash (1978) Actors: Unknown Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for them:…
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Auden

From the early 80’s cult film, “Get Crazy” we have a series of bands who played at the fictitious Saturn Theatre (modeled after the famous Filmore East) for their 15th New Year’s Eve Show. One of the main attractions, Auden (Lou Reed) failed to make the gig until it was over, but we were treated to his performance during the closing credits. Auden was basically a Bob Dylan knock off which may not have been that much of stretch for Reed to play. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Get Crazy (1983) Actor: Lou Reed Songs you might remember: Little Sister…
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Austin Moon

We will admit to never having seen Austin & Ally, so we will have to thank Wikipedia for this one. Apparently Austin Moon is a young successful singer who is the focal point of a Disney sitcom. We can’t say whether it is good or not, but as it has been on for more than two seasons, so we know that a lot of young people are watching it. Of course, now that we are old: we don’t trust anyone under thirty. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Austin & Ally (2011-) Actor: Ross Lynch Songs you might remember: None…
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Autobahn

We have a rip off band of cult superstars (Kraftwerk) in an excellent cult movie (The Big Lebowski) too? This may be too hard to pass up! This faux band released one album (Nagelbutt), and we have to assume that they were techno-pop superstars. Considering that Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers was one of the members, we might actually believe it! The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: The Big Lebowski (1998) Actors: Flea Peter Stormare Torsten Voges Songs you might remember: Nagelbutt (The title of their lone album) Why you should vote for him them: The “cult status” card…
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