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The Artists

Tommy Gnosis

With the guidance of an East German transsexual, Tommy Gnosis becomes one of the biggest Rock stars in the world. Hedwig, the aforementioned transsexual molded Gnosis by giving him his name, writing his music and cultivating his image. How was she was paid by her new lover? She was paid with betrayal, of course, as he became a star and left Hedwig behind. Does someone in the fictitious Rock world who became a superstar qualify here; well, there are others on this ballot that can make the same claim. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)…
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Tony Clifton

One of the alter egos of Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton was a horrible and obnoxious lounge singer. That was the gag, as the Clifton character was deliberately bad and a parody of the Las Vegas B level lounge acts. The Clifton character would often perform without Kaufman even appearing, even opening for Rodney Dangerfield on two occasions. Clifton was played mostly by Kaufman, though on occasion his writing partner, Bob Zmuda would don the latex face and loud tuxedo.
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Trace and Gina

Here is one we find fascinating. From the one (season) and done sci-fi show, Otherworld, the premise is that a family is transported into an alternate Earth with distinct provinces. In one of those regions, (Centrex) Rock and Roll never existed and the two teen siblings essentially the musical genre by replicating Rock and Roll standards. Basically, they completely created pop culture in this region, and this is the only episode that those who watched the show remember. This might do better in the voting then you would think. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Otherworld (1985) Actors: Tony O’Dell…
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Vamanos Pest

Yeah, we know this isn’t even a real fictitious band. However, we couldn’t help but honor one of our favorite television shows of all time in Breaking Bad. When Walter White looked for a new way to cook meth without being detected he came across the idea of using fumigated houses. Enlisting the help of the comical and incompetent duo of Badger and Skinny Pete, we were treated to them buying roadie equipment for their band. As the stenciling came free due to the high volume of the purchase, the band name of “Vamanos Pest” was used. We hear they…
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Vesuvius

The Heavy Metal band that kicked Robert “Fish” Fishman (Rainn Wilson) out of the group in place of the nephew of a record executive to gain a contract, Vesuvius entered the pantheon of fictitious bands with eyeliner, hairspray and lip-syncing. It was not the best fake band, but it may have contained the funniest people. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: The Rocker (2008) Actors: Rainn Wilson (Robert “Fish” Fishman) (Original Drummer) Will Arnett (Lex Drennan) Fred Armisen (Wayne Kerr) Bradley Cooper (Trash Grace) Lonny Ross (Timmy Sticks) Songs you might remember: Pompeii Nights Why you should vote for them: This…
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Vince Everett

In one of the few Elvis Presley movies that did not completely suck, Jailhouse Rock was the story of Vince Everett (Elvis) who made good. Again, we will cling to the King of Rock and Roll in a role that did not totally embarrass him as a win.   Seriously, if you look at his overall body of work, this about as good as it got for the “King”. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Jailhouse Rock (1957) Actor: Elvis Presley Songs you might remember: Jailhouse Rock Why you should vote for him: This is the “King” after all. Why you should…
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Visiting Day

From the tenth episode of the Sopranos, the super delicious Adriana La Cerva is convinced that her ex-boyfriend, Richie Santini’s new Alternative act is destined for success and somehow convinces her boyfriend, Christopher Moltisanti to bankroll a demo for a Rap mogul who they managed to meet. The music was actually very bad and pretentious, but the memory of Adriana dancing to their song, (whatever it was called) was what many dreams were made of.    The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: The Sopranos (1999) Actors: Nick Fowler (Richie Santini) Greg Wattenberg (Vito) Two others, we assume Songs you might…
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Wade "Crybaby" Walker

Although Wade “Crybaby” Walker was never presented as a rock and roll star, he was shown to have fifty shades of cool, with his ability to make women swoon, sing a tune, shed a single tear on cue and lead a gang of misfits in his gang. We aren’t exactly sure if he should qualify, but we will let you decide that one. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Crybaby (1990) Actors: Johnny Depp James Intveld (singing voice) Songs you might remember: King Crybaby High School Hellcats Why you should vote for him: Depp is an acting god. Why you should…
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Way, No Way

In a flashback, we learned about a New Wave band that Ross and Chandler had in University. We never saw them play, but we did see their hideous 80’s hair and fashion. This has to be the funniest band we never saw. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Friends (1994-2004) Actors: David Schwimmer (Ross Geller) Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing) Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for them: This was hysterical. Why you should not vote for them: We never saw them play, but from what we know of Ross’ musical skills, they could not have been any…
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Weird Sisters

From the Harry Potter series of books and films, we learn that there is a band that appeals to the wizards and witches set. Shown in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, we have Weird Sisters, who was played by members of some of the most important British bands in the 2000’s. Does their performance at the Yule Ball warrant them induction, or does the fact that the band has members of Radio Head and Pulp get them inducted? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005) Actors: Jason Buckle (Heathcote Barbary, Rhythm Guitar)…
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William Hung and his Hung Jury

Admittedly, this is only on the ballot due to the guilt we feel for naming William Hung’s version of “She Bangs” as the third worst song in recent music history. We are sure he is a nice guy, so we thought we would pay him back by making him a nominee for his brief role on Arrested Development where he appeared as the intermission band leader for the mock reality show, “Mock Trial with J. Reinhold”. Our small feelings of guilt aside, we don’t think that will do much to help him get inducted here. The Bullet Points: TV Show…
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William Williams

Although William Williams (Chris Klein) did not compete in the American Dreamz singing competition, he won the annual event though it was not as if he was able to enjoy the win, as his victory was essentially a suicide mission. As strange as it sounds, it was all part of an American Idol parody that doesn’t always hit the mark; though we think Chris Klein would be better if her died in all of his movies.   The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: American Dreamz (2006) Actor: Chris Klein Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for him: Well…he…
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Willie "Blind Dog Fulton Smoke House" Brown

Although we can’t say that this was our favorite film, we are big fans of Joe Seneca’s performance in Crossroads. Seneca played Willie Brown, a former Blues Harmonica great who as it turned out, along with legendary Blues great, Robert Johnson, sold their soul to the devil to gain their skills. We did not see enough his musicianship, but we did like his acting. The Bullet Points: Movies Appeared: Crossroads (1986) Actor: Joe Seneca   Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for him: Could we be alone in loving his performance? Why you should not vote for him:…
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Winifred

In Robert Altman’s “Nashville”, we really only saw one star that would do anything it took to make it to the top. Winifred left her husband shows persistence that is unequalled in modern cinema and received her shot in the most bizarre set of circumstances imaginable. Does this kind of perseverance deserve a Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame entry? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Nashville (1975) Actor: Barbara Harris Songs you might remember: It Don’t Worry Me Why you should vote for her: Well, she did make it at the end. Why you should not vote for her:…
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Winslow Leach "The Phantom"

The Phantom of the Opera may have been a tragic figure, but the Phantom of the Paradise was a bit of a nerd. Let’s explain a bit shall we?         We will go on record stating our love for the 1974 cult film, but when we first meet the talented composer, Winslow Leach, he is brought to us a nebbish goofball of a man who was easily manipulated by the music guru, Swan. After a series of events only possible on film transform into the Phantom, we have a character that is equal parts cheese and dark. This was a love…
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Wolfgang Von Colt

The 2012 film, Rock of Ages was not considered a financial success, but there were moviegoers who did like the adaptation. We can understand it, as the songs covered in the film may not be deep, but were fun songs in an era that has become celebrated. Many of those covers were done by members of the group, Wolfgang Von Colt which comprised the male and female leads, Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta, though we never really saw the band until the end, and most of the musical numbers that the two leads did were not in band form. Does…
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Wyckyd Sceptre

“Show me Your Weenis!” From the criminally under watched (we say that, as we wonder why everyone didn’t watch this!) Mr. Show, we have a gay Heavy Metal band. That in itself was not the gag, but that Wyckyd Sceptre was in complete denial of their sexuality. What hurts them here is that we learned about their carnal preferences but little about their actual music. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Mr. Show (1998) Actors: David Cross Bob Odenkirk Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for them: This sketch was hilarious. Why you should not vote for…
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Wyld Stallyns

We will admit we are torn on this one. We know that we are not the only ones who love the two Bill & Ted films. It is a pair of cult classics and one of the rare films that straddles the line of cheese without becoming a “so cheesy it is good” film. The whole point of the films is that the Wyld Stallyns music is what brings “excellence” to Earth, but the problem is that in the first movie they stunk musically, and in the sequel, we never actually heard anything they really did.   This could affect what…
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Yvonne

From “Smashing Time” which was a satire of the 1960’s Swinging London scene, Yvonne (Lynn Redgrave) became a pop singer, who was very bad. Of course, like the real music world, many songs that make it are very bad, and despite her inability to sing and cheesiness of the material, it became a huge hit. Sadly, we can’t say the same for the film. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Smashing Time (1967) Actor: Lynn Redgrave Songs you might remember: I’m So Young Why you should vote for her: She was so bad, it was kind of good. Why you should…
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Zack Attack

Dear God.   In the guilty pleasure Saturday Morning Sitcom, Saved by the Bell, we were treated to an iconic episode in which a dream sequence (narrated by Casey Kasem of course!) shows the rise and fall of their band, “The Zack Attack”. Beyond a school dance, we learn little of the band, but does it really matter here? The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Saved by the Bell (1991) Actors: Mark Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris, Guitar) Mario Lopez (A.C. Slater, Drummer) Dustin Diamond (Screech Powers, Keyboards) Elizabeth Berkley (Jessie Spano, Vocals) Tiffany Amber-Thiessen (Kelly Kapowski, Vocals) Lark Voorhies (Lisa Turtle,…
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Zora Banks

In the category of those we almost forgot about, Zora Banks (Sanaa Latham) was the female lead against Wesley Snipes where she was an aspiring singer (though admittedly we don’t recall her singing much) in the HBO movie, Disappearing Acts.   Actually, is that not a perfect name for their careers? The Bullet Points: TV Movie Appeared: Disappearing Acts (2000) Actor: Sanaa Latham Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for her: We don’t have a lot here. Why you should not vote for her: Didn’t we explain this when we had Latham in the Fictitious Athlete Hall of…
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