ABBA has not had a hit for decades, but their music (and pardon the cliché) has stood the test of time. Former member, Benny Anderson, put together a Broadway musical with ABBA’s music as the backdrop and it became a smash hit. Naturally when you have a major success on the “Great White Way” you try to figure out what to do next, and Hollywood came calling. This entry showcases the film’s version, which features acting legend Meryl Streep, Julie Christie and Christine Baranski who were once “Donna and the Dynamos”, who are reunited through Streep’s character’s daughters wedding. Mamma…

A torch singer (who might as well been called a “tortured” singer), Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini) was steamy, sexy, and troubled in David Lynch’s “Blue Velvet”. She sang the signature song in the film, and did a decent job at it.

Many Boy Bands are essentially lame but in the straight to video Disney effort, Pop Star, Aaron Carter takes it to a new level. He plays J.D. McQueen who is one of the members of Downtown, and he has to go to school…or something…hell we don’t know. We do know that Leif Garrett shows up as a janitor, which is interesting for nostalgic purposes, but in watching this, we remembered why we wanted Aaron Carter would just go away. As it turned out, he eventually did! The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Pop Star (2005) Actor: Aaron Carter…and we don’t know…

With all due respect to the writers at Degrassi, “Downtown Sasquatch” has to be lamest name of any band, real or fake that we have ever heard. With that said, this band was a lot more polished than the Zit Remedy from the previous generation, and showed quite a bit of range through the series. The band never really made it; though their lead singer, Craig Manning did go on to make his own solo record. Incidentally, their guitar player in the real world would go on to have a huge Rap career, under the name of Drake. The Bullet…

In the first season of the brilliant program, Arrested Development, we learn that Tobias and Lindsay had a family Folk Band in the mid 90’s that was subsidized by a drug company. They attempted a brief comeback, but as expected from this show, it was a failure and the music was pretty bad. Would it have been even nearly as funny if the Funke family was talented? Of course not! The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Arrested Development (2004) Actors: David Cross (Tobias Funke) Portia De Rossi (Lindsay Bluth Funke) Alia Shawkat (Maebe Funke) Songs you might remember: None Why…

The only thing we like about this entry on the ballot is the name. Other than that, this Lisa Kudrow/Damon Wayans film was a complete disaster on every level and we are surprised we even remembered this dreck when we created this website. For those wondering what the film is, Damon Wayans plays Dr. Snatchcatcher (or Dr. S) who is a Gangsta Rapper who is managed by a socialite (Lisa Kudrow). If it sounds bad, it is because it is! The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Marci X (2003) Actors: Damon Wayans Songs you might remember: Power in my Pants Why…

From Nickelodeon’s successful teen Sitcom, Drake & Josh, the main protagonist had his own band, which although got a lot of screen time, did not seem to have a name; at least not one that we are aware of. Regardless, Drake Bell (who played Drake Parker) could at least sing and play guitar, which may elevate him higher than most on the ballot.

First off we will apologize as we think the name of the fictitious band in the brief CBS show, Dreams was called Dreams. Even if we are wrong, does it really matter that much? With only twelve episodes and minuscule ratings this is just an answer to an unasked trivia question of what show starred Jami Gertz and John Stamos? The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Dreams (1984) Actors: John Stamos (Gino Minnelli, Guitar) Jami Gertz (Martha Spino, Vocals) Albert Macklin (Morris Weiner, Keyboards) Valerie Stevenson (Lisa Copley, Vocals) Cain Devore (Phil Taylor, Bass) Songs you might remember: Alone Why…

Clearly influenced by Oasis, Drive Shaft was a one hit wonder who was featured on the hit program, Lost. Through flashbacks in the show, we learned that sex and drugs (what else) rendered the band irrelevant, but through featured Lost character, Charlie Pace we learned a lot about that band and that lone hit. Frankly, never has a one hit wonder had a better chance at a Hall of Fame than this. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Lost (2004-10) Actors: Dominic Monaghan (Charlie Pace) Neil Hopkins (Liam Pace) And two others we assume…. Songs you might remember: You All…

In the independent film, A Slipping-Down Life, Drumsticks Casey (Guy Pearce) was the object of affection (or stalking) of a shy wall flower Evie Decker (Lily Taylor). Her pursuit allows her to break out of her shell, and we do hear some of his music, but like so many other acts like on this ballot, you can only expect so much support from an independent film. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: A Slipping-Down Life (1999) Actor: Guy Pearce Songs you might remember: Start Again Why you should vote for him: We can argue that his music was so powerful that…

From the poorly received film adaptation of Josie and the Pussycats, we have one of the most clueless group of “musicians” in the form of the successful Boy Band, Du Jour. They were killed in a plane crash as they learned that subliminal messages were being piped into their music and we guess that because they stood up against it, at least we can say that they are ethical. What that means to this Hall of Fame is up to you. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Josie and the Pussycats (2001) Actor: Breckin Meyer (Marco) Donald Faison (DJ) Seth Green…

First off, we love everything Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation, so how can we not nominate his smooth jazz, panty dropping alter ego, Duke Silver? The anti-government, Swanson apparently had another creative outlet (other than woodworking), but this one lent the mustached one to be a hit with the ladies.

We can say this with one hundred percent confidence. Duncan Ely was the best satanic piano virtuoso on the ballot. That probably does not equate to an induction for the Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, especially since this entry comes from a little seen 1971 horror film.

Dylan was the dimwitted boyfriend of Hayley Dunphy who also happened to be an aspiring singer. We were treated to a song he wrote for Haley that he inappropriately sang in front of the entire family. Why was it inappropriate, well when he sings the (Do Me) part; that is your answer right there! The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Modern Family (2009-) Actor: Reid Ewing Songs you might remember: In the Moonlight (Do Me) Why you should vote for him: His original song was certainly a memorable one. Why you should not vote for him: He sold out by…

In the IFC show, Portlandia, the Indy Superstar band, Echo Echo tries to check into the Deuce Hotel, but the usual clichés that you might have expected to occur were not present. What was of note to us was the incredible lineup in the Alternative Rock world that made up Echo Echo, of Corin Tucker (bandmate of Portlandia co-creator, Carrie Brownstein of Sleater-Kinney), James Mercer (The Shins) and Colin Meloy (The Decemberists). Now how can a band made up of these people have trouble checking into a hotel? The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Portlandia (2011) Actors: Corin Tucker James…

At no point during the 1990’s did we ever figure out the phenomenon of Steve Urkel, and decades later we are even more confused. On his show, Family Matters, we had forgotten that Eddie Winslow could sing, and probably because the only thing that everyone remembers is that damned Urkel. Amazingly, in going through the research it turned out he wasn’t half bad, but again this was the Urkel show so it isn’t like anyone remembered. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Family Matters (1989-97) Actor: Darius McCrary Songs you might remember:   None Why you should vote for him: He…

First off, we wonder how many people clicked here, expecting to find Eminem here.   “Eight Mile Road” was the spoken word band in the respected film, Gridlock’d. Composed of a very good cast (Tupac Shakur, Thandie Newton & Tim Roth), the film did not catch on, as perhaps watching struggling heroin addicts is not the best way to spend two hours. Musically, the trio was not bad in the bits we saw, but we wonder just how many people saw this at all. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Gridlock’d (1997) Actors: Tupac Shakur (Ezekiel “Spoon” Whitmore, Bass & Backup Vocals)…

A star tuned junkie, Elle Dallas is presented as a soulful Amy Winehouse type (if she lived) who was once on top of the world but has succumbed to her demons of addiction. As of this writing, she has yet to overcome them despite the attention and encouragement of Cookie Lyon. Dallas is played by Courtney Love, which for whatever is worth is about as perfect casting as you can get. Is that worth a vote?              The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Empire (2015-) Actor:Courtney Love Songs you might remember:Walk Out On Me Why you should vote for…

Diane Lane was at her sultry best as Ellen Aim, a Rock singer who is the subject of a kidnapping in the 1984 cult film, Streets of Fire. We can’t say we exactly remember anything that she sang, but we do remember how she looked. We wonder what that is worth here. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Streets of Fire (1984) Actor: Diane Lane Songs you might remember: Tonight is what it Means to be Young Why you should vote for her: We will argue that she was the best part of the movie. Why you should not vote for…

We are completely aware that this entry has no business being here. First off, we never saw “acclaimed” Opera Star, Enrico Pallazzo sing (though how could it be better than Frank Drebin?) and second Opera is as far from Rock and Roll as you can get. With those points said, we love the Naked Gun, and damn it, he is on the ballot! The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: The Naked Gun (1988) Actor: Tony Brafa Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for him: We admit you probably shouldn’t. Why you should not vote for him: A thousand…

Putting Ralph Macchio on the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame ballot (for his work in the Karate Kid Series) was not a problem for us, but we were struggling whether to include him for his incomplete effort in “Crossroads”. As struggling Blues musician, Eugene Martone, we had a hard time buying him as anyone who even heard a Blues record, let alone someone who could score with an in her prime, Jami Gertz. We aren’t even going to tell you what we think of him defeating Steve Vai at the end in a guitar duel.

This may be our favorite fictitious band name ever. We did not see that much of this band (and we could argue that George Clinton upstaged them) but we do have a soft spot for this brand of College humor. As PCU was essentially a love it or hate it movie, we are sure we aren’t the only ones who have a soft spot for this flick, and thus by proxy, this band.   The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: PCU (1994) Actors: Gale Mayron (Cecilia) Matt Ross (Raji) Stivi Paskoski (Deege) Megan Ward (Katy) Songs you might remember: None Why you…

Played by real Punk Band, The Eight Bucks Experiment, “Extreme Corporal Punishment” served as a big part of the backdrop of SLC Punk, which looked at the 1985 Punk scene in Salt Lake City. It was well received, though not seen by a mass audience, though we question how strong the chances are for ECP when they did not even have a song on the Soundtrack. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: SLC Punk (1998) Actors: The Eight Bucks Experiment Songs you might remember: One of These Days Why you should vote for them: This was a good film…check it out!…

You have to love Eric Cartman. The rotund one always has a scheme and upon learning that Christian music was always a consistent seller, he recruited Butters and Token to create “Faith + 1”, a Christian Rock group. As expected, Cartman was disingenuous, and he basically took love songs and inserted Jesus’ name into it. It was not musical genius, but it was great parody. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: South Park (2003) Actors: Trey Parker Matt Stone The Fictitious Band Eric Cartman Butters Token Songs you might remember: Jesus Baby Three Times My Savior Why you should vote…

We never saw them play, as right before they were about to go on at their first gig at a prison they realized they knew no songs. Still, we were treated to their karaoke version of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” and the funniest mismatched outfits this side of Quahog.