At what point can a man as stupid as Luther Van Dam become the Defensive Coordinator of a Division I College Football Program? Jerry Van Dyke’s portrayal of Van Dam shows us a man with the intelligence of a coffee table who can somehow manages to understand the complexity of a 4-3 Defence. Actually, at no point do we recall a scene that shows what has to be the skills of a football savant, or even someone who could figure out a remote control.



The Bullet Points:
TV Show Appeared:
Coach (1989-97)

Actor:
Jerry Van Dyke

Role Portrayed:
Defensive Coordinator for Minnesota State

Why you should vote for him:
How about because he is Dick’s brother?

Why you should not vote for him:
This is one of the dumbest (literally) sports characters in history.

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Usually when you have a great wise manager/coach in a sports film, they don’t open up with his first line being “Tire World”.

Still, the longtime Manager of the Toledo Mud Hens transferred his skills and lunchbox ethos cross the I-90 to Cleveland, where his motivational skills and ability to urinate on a contract was a perfect match for his keen judge of talent. Now, why couldn’t he remain the manager throughout the film in the sequel?



The Bullet Points:
Movies Appeared:
Major League (1989)
Major League 2 (1994)

Actor:
James Gammon

Role Portrayed:
Manager of the Cleveland Indians

Why you should vote for him:
Don’t you think he would have won Manager of the Year in the first movie?

Why you should not vote for him:
His role in the sequel was neutered.

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We have no problem making the argument that Lil’ Penny actually might be more remembered than the real Penny Hardaway. The commercials were a mid-90’s phenom, and achieved a significant following; a rare feat for any commercial series. Voiced by Chris Rock, there has been talk about resurrecting the puppet; which would be great news to Penny; who probably has nothing else to do.

Kevin O’Shea is on the ballot because we respect that he is a former Heisman Trophy winner…and is also Al Bundy. However we are still trying to wrap our heads around him being outcoached by Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors even though he had a clearly superior team. Oh wait; he channeled Al Bundy. Now it makes sense.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Little Giants (1999)

Actor:
Ed O’Neill

Role Portrayed:
Pop Warner Head Coach of Urbana, OH

Why you should vote for him:
We will play the Heisman card.

Why you should not vote for him:
He lost to the Honey I Shrunk the Kids guy. Impossible!!

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