The Karate Kid (1984)

Karate Instructor

Wax on.  Wax off.

Easily the best role of Pat Morita’s career, Mr. Miyagi first met Daniel LaRusso who was a tenant along with his mother in the apartment building where he worked as the handy man.  He would impart his knowledge of karate to the transplanted kid from New Jersey by teaching him lessons via household chores such as painting wall as waxing cars, but mostly he taught how karate was to be used best as self-defence and not for personal gain.

Miyagi would not just be Daniel’s karate instructor.  He would become his friend, his father figure and mentor for life, and yes it helped get him inducted that he could probably kick everyone’s ass if provoked!

The Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame proudly inducts Mr. Miyagi to the Contributor’s section of the Class of 2015.

Mr. Larson is only on this ballot because we got a kick out of seeing Jaws with a giant nail in his head. Actually, we found it fascinating how even how in his weakened state (he noticeably used a cane) he was a terrifying presence. There are only a handful of men who can do that.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Happy Gilmore (1996)

Actor:
Richard Kiel

Role Portrayed:
Former Employer

Why you should vote for him:
Some would say that he is known more for this than his iconic James Bond role.

Why you should not vote for him:
This was a very small role.

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Perhaps the only manager perfect for untalented foul mouthed kids is a drunken former minor league pitcher turned pool cleaner. Morris Buttermaker was not the role model you wanted your kids to learn baseball (or anything else) from, but watching him with other people’s kids was a guilty delight. If any “contributor” from the Bad News Bears trilogy gets in, this should be the one.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
The Bad News Bears (1976)

Actor:
Walter Mattheau

Role Portrayed:
Manager of the Bad News Bears

Why you should vote for him:
We would vote for him just for that drunken practice alone.

Why you should not vote for him:
Well…the Bears did not beat the Yankees at the end.

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This is another tough one for us. The critics may have disagreed, but we enjoyed the Football film, Wildcats. The gimmick behind it was that the head coach was a woman, but not a tough as nails one; no the diminutive, cute and perky Goldie Hawn. For the younger generation, try and picture her daughter, Kate Hudson, as a Football Coach in a film. What’s that? Can’t picture it?   Same rule here, for as much as they tried to make it believable, even a shred of rational thought would tell you that an 80’s ghetto school would not have a female coach of any kind. Still, let’s put on suspension of disbelief, and then we still have another problem with Hawn in the movie. Our favorite (and we bet yours too) scene from her was her meekly singing “Football” in the end credits. If that is the signature moment, than we think we can do better for the Hall.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Wildcats (1986)

Actor:
Goldie Hawn

Role Portrayed:
Head Coach of Central H.S.

Why you should vote for her:
She did win the championship game.

Why you should not vote for her:
We just didn’t buy her in the role.

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