Like so many suburban white pre-teens, Bart Simpson became enamored with the world of Rap Music resulting in him sneaking out to attend the Murder 4 Life tour starring Alcatraaaz. Bart actually raps on stage, meets 50 Cent (playing himself) and in scenarios that only happen in Springfield has Alcatraaaz and his entourage draw their guns at Principal Skinner only to have the rapper calm everything down by initiating a House Party. I thin the same thing happened to us when we were ten years old. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: The Simpsons (2005) Actors: We aren’t sure who voiced Alcatraaaz Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for him: He was the headliner of a major Hip Hop tour. Why you should not vote for him: Wasn’t 50 Cent more memorable than Alcatraaaz in this episode? {youtube}
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As much as we love the Roots, we can’t say that the Spike Lee film, “Bamboozled” was the best use of their talents. As the house band of the “New Millennium Minstrel Show”, the Roots performed in striped prison uniforms with a ball and chains shackled to their ankles. Basically, this was little more than a cameo, and not a great one at that. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Bamboozled (2000) Actors: The Roots Songs you might remember: Nothing of note Why you should vote for him them: There are very few on this ballot with more musical talent. Why you should not vote for them: That talent was not shown in this film. {youtube}
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We aren’t sure of this qualifies as a candidate, but out of respect to the popular night time soap opera, Dallas, we are going to move ahead with the nomination of Afton Cooper. Played by Audrey Landers, Cooper was one of many love interests for J.R. Ewing and for our purposes was an aspiring singer; who if we remember correctly played a couple gigs. We guess this qualifies. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Dallas (1981-89) Actor: Audrey Landers Songs you might remember: None Why you should vote for her: We don’t have a real good reason. Why you should not vote for her: She could have been an aspiring (fill in the blank) and it would have made no difference. {youtube}
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Let’s play the pop culture cheese wheel shall we? In what could possibly be the fromagiest (yes, we know we invented a word) we had Dana Plato vs. Janet Jackson to win a spot in Willis Jackson’ group (that never had a gig). The end result was a horrific “Ebony and Ivory” cover with the two, and do we even have to comment beyond this? We didn’t think so. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Diff’rent Strokes (1982) Actors: Janet Jackson (Charlene DuPrey) Dana Plato (Kimberly Drummond) Todd Bridges (Willis Jackson) Songs you might remember: Ebony and Ivory Why you should vote for them: We got nothing here. Why you should not vote for them:Two words: Dana Plato. {youtube}
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