Jocks-Wa-Hey was a young band from Glasgow whose rise to fame is a template that all aspiring musicians need to see. From the British six part series, “The Young Person’s Guide to Becoming a Rock Star” (which was complete with some of the best cameos ever), the satire of the music industry has never been better, and why this was never shown in the United States is beyond us. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: The Young Person’s Guide to Becoming a Rock Star (1998) Actors: Ciaran McMenamin (Jez MacAllister, Lead Singer) Duncan Marwick (Psycho, Bass) Stephen McCole (Wullie MacBoyne, Drummer) Nicola Stapleton (Joe Nardone, Lead Guitar) Simhone Lahbib (Fiona Johnstone, Keyboards) Songs you might remember: Why Won’t You Shag Me Why you should vote for them: This is one of the better series that explores the music industry, and delivers a wicked send up of it. Why you should not vote for them: This got zero attention in North America. {youtube}
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Naturally when Kelly Bundy got a show on Chicago Public Access (titled “Vital Social Issues ‘n’ Stuff with Kelly”) she needed a slutty house band. The band she got played brief five second songs, and just one word which was Sex. Once the show became a hit and was picked up by the network, the show was made over, as was the band, who now sang about milk. It was cancelled of course. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Married With Children (1995) Actor: We aren’t really sure. Songs you might remember: Sex Why you should vote for them: They were memorable at least. Why you should not vote for them: Two chords (was it even two?) and one spoken word is not a band. {youtube}
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Yeah we know. The name “Joanie and Chachi’s band” is asinine but we have no idea what they were called. Here is what we do know: Happy Days was one of the most successful sitcoms of all-time and as such spinoffs were expected. The problem was that nobody wanted to see Joanie and Chachi pursue Rock and Roll dreams, especially when they had no musical ability. We were treated to a season of a half of bad acting, bad plots and horrific music. At the very least, the fictitious band never made it, which may have been the most realistic part of the group. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Joanie Loves Chachi (1982-83) Actor: Scott Baio Erin Moran Songs you might remember: Nothing. Everything they did was terrible. Why you should vote for them: They may have sucked, but they are remembered. Why you should not vote for them: Neither Joanie nor Chachi could sing worth shit. {youtube}
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Dear God! Every Christmas we are subjected to this dreck, where we are forced to watch a video (usually because there is one member of the family that finds this cute); where we have cats meowing and playing to Christmas Songs. This was the brainchild of Mike Spalla, a sound engineer who we assume made some serious coin with this idea. The albums actually sold, and resulted into Jingle Dogs and Jingle Babies, both of which stink up our Christmas song rotation. The Bullet Points: Albums Appeared: Meowy Christmas (1993) Here Comes Santa Claws (1994) Actors: None Songs you might remember: Jingle Bells and other Christmas Songs. Why you should vote for them: The odds are you know who they are. We bet half of the acts on this ballot you are learning for the first time. Why you should not vote for them: They are cats…and this sucks!
