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Dirk Diggler

Dirk Diggler
Dirk Diggler
If we ever do a Fictitious Porn Star Hall of Fame (and we are not planning to) the inaugural inductee would have to be Dirk Diggler. As we are not, you may have forgotten that Dirk qualifies for the Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when he did an abysmal song, The Touch, which might have been better had the vocals been featured more prominently as he requested. Of course, we never did get a chance to see if he would have made it as the “magic” remained in the studios when they failed to pay for the recording sessions.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Boogie Nights (1997)

Actor:
Mark Wahlberg

Songs you might remember:
The Touch

Why you should vote for him:
Can we simply just say that it is because it is Dirk “F***ing” Diggler?

Why you should not vote for him:
Not only could he not sing, he was oblivious to the fact.

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Dingoes Ate my Baby

Dingoes Ate my Baby
Dingoes ate my Baby
From what is one of our favorite TV shows, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the werewolf character of “Oz” was the leader of one of the coolest band names of all time (real or fictitious), “Dingoes ate my Baby”. We heard them periodically, but were their music relevant to make a difference here? It didn’t, but again, we are a sucker for the name of this band.



The Bullet Points:
TV Show Appeared:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1996-99)

Actors:
Seth Green (Oz)
And we have no idea who else made this band

Songs you might remember:
Shadows

Why you should vote for them:
Can we again state that we love the band’s name?

Why you should not vote for them:
For a television show that had a lot of fans, and developed a substantial cult audience, can even the most devote fans name a song they did?

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Dill Scallion

Dill Scallion
Dill Scallion
A mixed reviewed mockumentary, Dill Scallion billed itself as the Spinal Tap of Country Music. The protagonist, Dill Scallion was a dimwitted bus driver turned superstar, turned bum again. The film wasn’t bad, but it was barely seen and when you refer to yourself as the version of something else, you have to wonder aloud how good you can really be.



The Bullet Points:
Movies Appeared:
Dill Scallion (1999)

Actor:
Billy Burke

Songs you might remember:
Probably none

Why you should vote for him:
The film actually wasn’t bad, with an interesting cast.

Why you should not vote for him:
As we said, the tag line alone indicates its second rate.

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Diamonds in the Rough

Diamonds in the Rough
Jason Biggs never did have a film that worked other than the American Pie series, but Saving Silverman did have a bit of a life on cable as he played a man in a horrible relationship, whose two friends try to save him from. The trio (which included Jack Black and Steve Zahn) were also a Neil Diamond tribute band, and we saw more than enough of their performances to make them a dark horse candidate. Besides, with every passing year, Neil Diamond becomes a bigger icon; this can’t hurt.
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Dewey Cox

Dewey Cox
Dewey Cox
The Dewey Cox fake biopic may not have been a huge hit, but this Johnny Cash parody had its share of funny moments, and did develop somewhat of a cult following. As promotion to the film, Cox (John C. Reilly) actually had a mini tour in character and with a plethora of real musicians who lent cameos to the film. For an underperforming movie, this could be a solid candidate for our Hall of Fame.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)

Actor:
John C. Reilly

Songs you might remember:
Walk Hard
Black Sheep

Why you should vote for him:
Cox hobnobbed with the musical elite, and was a major fictitious star.

Why you should not vote for him:
For a movie with so much effort and promotion, it was not a hit.

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Dethklok

Dethklok
Dethklok
This one straddles real and fictitious that may blur the lines more than any other entry on the ballot. From the ambitious animated Adult Swim program, Metalocalypse, Dethklok is a very successful Death Metal band whose merchandising power is only equaled by their ineptitude in anything that is not musical.

In the real world, the creator of the show and music (Brendon Small) has released four albums under the Dethklok name, and though they were not nearly as successful as they were in the animated world, he did several tours with a backing band performing Dethklok music.

In our eyes, combined with a loyal cult audience creates a very serious candidate for our Fictitious Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  



The Bullet Points:
TV Show Appeared:
Metalocalypse (2006-12)

Actors:
Brendon Small (Nathan Explosion, Lead Singer)
Brendon Small (Swisgar Swigelf, Lead Guitar)
Tommy Blacha (Toki Wartooth, Rhythm Guitar)
Brendon Small (Pickles, Drums)
Tommy Blacha (William Murderface, Bass)

Touring Band:
Brendon Small (Vocals, Guitar)
Mike Keneally (Guitar, Backing Vocals)
Gene Hoglan (Drums)
Bryan Beller (Bass, Backing Vocals)

Songs you might remember:
Bloodrocuted
I Ejaculate Fire

Why you should vote for them:
Massive success in the fictitious world with minor success in the real one; this is a solid combination.

Why you should not vote for them:
Animated bands may not seem right for some.

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Denise Waverly

Denise Waverly
Denise Waverly
Played by the (is she hot or not?) Illeana Douglas, Grace of my Heart did not get a lot of attention, but it was a decent film that followed the career of Dennis Waverly (Douglas) through her singing and writing career in the 1960’s. This was a film that really explored the music of the 60’s and that really should mean something here.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
Grace of my Heart (1996)

Actor:
Illeana Douglas

Songs you might remember:
Multiple

Why you should vote for her:  
The film was really about the music. That defeats more than 90 percent of the others on the ballot.

Why you should not vote for her:
If the film was that good; a lot more people would know it.

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The Delights

Delights The
From the tribute film to the spirit of Rock and Roll, American Hot Wax, we have the Delights who were a fictionalized version of the Shirelles. The film’s rock stars were half people who played themselves and half made up bands, which may make these fictional entries from the film muddled at best, and long shots for entry.



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
American Hot Wax (1978)

Actors:
Stephanie Spurill
Joyce King
Yolanda Howard
Brenda Russell

Songs you might remember:
Mr. Lee
Maybe

Why you should vote for them:
This is from a film that celebrated Rock and Roll.

Why you should not vote for them:
Basically, they pretended they were someone else.

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Del Paxton

Del Paxton
Del Paxton
Played by great character actor, Bill Cobbs, Del Paxton was portrayed as top figure in the world of Jazz. His role was brief, but he met one of his biggest fans, the drummer for the Wonders, and his sage advice put things into perspective for the protagonist of “That Thing You Do”. Realistically, this is not a strong contender, but we loved this role so much, that we had to put on the ballot



The Bullet Points:
Movie Appeared:
That Thing You Do (1996)

Actor:
Bill Cobbs

Songs you might remember:
None….just a jam with “Shades”

Why you should vote for him:
The quiet cool that Paxton had.

Why you should not vote for him:
The movie was not about him, and his role was brief.

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