Played by real life Running Back Arian Foster (who incidentally was himself undrafted) we meet Ray Jennings a Running Back (surprise) from Florida State in the film Draft Day. Let’s just cut right to it shall we? We have a beast of a real NFL player (who acted just well enough) whose dad happened to be Cheeseburger Eddie. How can he not be on the ballot? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Draft Day (2013) Actor: Arian Foster Position Played: Running Back Played for: Florida State Why You Should Vote For Him: We have a real RB in the role. Why You Should Not Vote For Him: What real performance do we have of Foster? {youtube}
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From the entertaining film, “Balls of Fury”, we have the protagonist from the film, Randy Daytona. Now, forgetting the fact that this is a film that displays a sport that has virtually no traction in the United States or really anywhere, do we have anyone who can really stand up to Christopher Walken in this role? We don’t think so either, though we love the name of “Randy Daytona”! The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Balls of Fury (2007) Actor: Dan Fogler Why You Should Vote For Him: If this is the sport for you, than this is it. Why You Should Not Vote For Him: Is he the real star of the film? Not really. {youtube}
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Jimmy Chitwood may be the one who gets the votes here on the Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame, but it was the pint sized Ollie who may have had the most memorable scene in the film where he sank two free throws to win a pivotal game. Watching his nerves in a hostile environment (shooting underhand no less) stuck out far more than any shot Chitwood made. He couldn’t have been more than 5’5’’ but he was proof of the team dynamic and focus on fundamentals that Coach Norman Dale taught small Hickory High. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Hoosiers (1986) Actor: Wade Schenck Position Played: Benchwarmer Played for: Hickory High Why You Should Vote For Him: Those might have been the most dramatic Free Throws in Fictional film history. Why You Should Not Vote For Him: How much does a benchwarmer earn a Hall of Fame slot? {youtube}
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Tarzan meets Track and Field in the Disney tale of “The World’s Greatest Athlete”, which see sad sack College Coaches recruiting a jungle boy named Nanu from Africa (Jan Michael Vincent) when they watch him outrun a cheetah. Now, the real question is can they escape the witchdoctor! Actually, that was serious, that really is part of the plot! Anyway, this film may not hold a lot of traction now, but in 1973 this film was a hit. The Bullet Points: Movies Appeared: The World’s Greatest Athlete (1973) Actor: Jan Michael Vincent Why You Should Vote For Him: Based on the film, he is faster than a cheetah. What other athlete can say that? Why You Should Not Vote For Him: This was about as far fetched as it gets. {youtube}
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Long before the Cannonball Run, the first inspired movie from the real “Sea to Shining Sea” race across the United States was the Gumball Rally, which may not have had the same all-star cast as Cannonball, but for many was a superior film. From that film, the nominee we have is Michael Bannon (Michael Sarrazin) the main protagonist of the film and the man who really set the Gumball Rally in motion. We have not really seen auto racing do well here, but could this unique film be the exception? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: The Gumball Rally (1976) Actor: Michael Sarrazin Why You Should Vote For Him: At present, he is the lone Gumball Rally participant on the ballot. For those who love this film, this is it. Why You Should Not Vote For Him: Is reckless racing across the United States a sport? {youtube}
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From the 1979 film, Running, we are introduced to Michael Andropolis (Michael Douglas) an American marathon runner whose competitive drive has him race too fast in the beginning gassing him out before the end. He qualifies fourth for the Montreal Olympics and gets to compete due to an injury to one of the top three. At the Olympics, Andropolis does what he always did roaring to a huge lead, but slips on wet leaves injuring himself in the process. He finishes the race, proving he his no quitter to a great ovation. Funny, we could have easily seen Douglas in more athletic roles; it’s a shame he never did more. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Running (1979) Actor: Michael Douglas Why You Should Vote For Him: Douglas is a great actor, and it is a story of triumph over adversity. Why You Should Not Vote For Him: Didn’t he finish last? {youtube}
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We admittedly fast forwarded through “How Do You Know” which was by our definition career lows for Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd and Owen Wilson, the latter who played a dopey Pitcher for the Nationals. Since we don’t remember watching him play (or maybe we fast forwarded through that part), we can’t see a huge push for induction. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: How Do You Know (2010) Actor: Owen Wilson Position Played: Pitcher Played For: Washington Nationals Why You Should Vote For Him: You probably shouldn’t. Why You Should Not Vote For Him: This was a poor movie and we don’t even see him play, or maybe we fast forwarded through that too. {youtube}
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If we can have Bodhi from Point Break as a nominee, how about a film that celebrated surfing, or at least the spirit of it a little bit better on the ballot? From Big Wednesday we have late 70’s B Movie icon, Jan-Michael Vincent as Matt Johnson in Big Wednesday, a throwback picture to the Vietnam era. Surfing fans consider this a classic, though that is about it. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Big Wednesday (1978) Actor: Jan-Michael Vincent Why You Should Vote For Him: For many this is a surf classic. Why You Should Not Vote For Him: They did surf a lot for sure, but where is the competition here? {youtube}
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With all apologies to the fans of Pixar’s Cars, we made a mistake not putting Lightning McQueen on the original ballot. Saying that, we have the aforementioned anthropomorphic NASCAR looking automobile that was a brash rookie, which though has been a common thread in many racing films, we actually have one that showcases more character depth than many of those other “live action” ones combined. He didn’t win the Piston Cup in the first film (though by the sequel we would learn that he would win the championship later) it is a winning character. Chances are your young child would put in a vote for Lightning! The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Cars (2006) Cars 2 (2011) Actor: Owen Wilson Why You Should Vote For Him: He did eventually win the Piston and learned a valuable lesson off the track. Why You Should Not Vote For Him: Should you not wish to induct a cartoon, we understood. {youtube}
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It is a bit of stretch we know, but Adam Sandler, who loves athletics and athlete roles, was positioned as a Basketball standout that could always hit the corner three…in middle school. In his ensemble comedy, Grown Ups, it was established that he was the star of his team, though we have to wonder just how important middle school Basketball Coaches really are to get a star Hollywood agent to come back to his small town. Either way, Lenny Feder (Sandler’s character) deliberately misses a three pointer (the same one that one a championship game as a kid) to teach his son a lesson. Now that we think about it, Sandler only stinks in fictional athletics on purpose. Hmmmm. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Grown Ups (2010) Actor: Adam Sandler Position Played: Unknown Played for: Unknown Middle School in Connecticut Why You Should Vote For Him: Say what you want about Sandler, lover him or hate him, he is a major force in this world of fictional athletes. Why You Should Not Vote For Him: His athletic highlight took place in middle school. {youtube}
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