94. KISS

We have been accused here at NIHOF for being KISS apologists at times.  Recognizing that they are a very polarizing band, they are often criticized for not being a very deep band, but barring a failed concept album in 1981, they never tried to be. Their songs were strictly about sex, power and fun, and nobody did it better.  With that said, there is a song that we have to take them to task on.

Many songs speak of sixteen year old girls and the attempted courting of them.  However when it comes through the sex starved Gene Simmons it becomes thirteen shades of creepy.  Musically, the tune is catchy, which was rare for KISS as they were not known for harmonies, but lyrically a shower is needed after listening to it.  Simmons sings how he doesn’t usually look at girls her age, but when he “saw her come out of school” that he had to have her.  Picturing Gene (who was 29 when the song came out) stalking schoolgirls is not a warm and fuzzy thought; especially with stories of his sexual conquests becoming rampant.  A line where Christine had “been around but is young and clean” adds to the uncomfortable sleaze factor.  Christine Sixteen is not a staple in KISS sets anymore as maybe even Gene Simmons realizes at his soon to be early bird special age that pining over a sixteen year old isn’t a good idea.  Of course, is it ever a good idea to sing about a sixteen year old if the first digit of your age is two or over?  Chris Hansen of Dateline NBC never thought so.