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The Contributors

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    Cassidy

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    Dorothy_Boyd

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    Dan_Rydell

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    Mr._Larson

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    Arliss_Michaels

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    Billy_Heywood

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    Pete_Eckhart

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    Claudia

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    Rip_Torn_Mugshot

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    Sean_Porter

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    Taco_MacArthur

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    Mike_Leak

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    Paulie_Pennino

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    Barbara_Jane_Bookman

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    Mickey_Gordon

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    Gordon_Bombay

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    Gabriel_Caine

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    Gordie_Boggs

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    Tony_DAmato

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    The_Gopher

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    Happy

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    John_Kreese

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    Nate_Scarborough_1974

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    Charlie_Kenton

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    Conor_ONeill

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    Buck_Weston

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    Chester_Lee

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    Clyde

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    Rodney_Ruxin

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    Irv_Blitzer

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    Pepper_Brooks

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    Sam_WInters

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    Guru

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    Jerry_Maguire

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    Jake_Shuttlesworth

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    Lou_Brown

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    Romeo_Posar

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    Dauber

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    Bobby_Finstock

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    Gloria_Clemente

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    Caretaker_1974

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    Dr._Harvey_Mandrake

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    Ken_Reeves

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    Niko

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    Patches_Young

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    Gil_Renard

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    Jimmy_McGinty

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    Nate_Scarborough

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    Max_Corkle

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    Phil_Weston

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    Darcy_Sears

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    Marvin_Lazar

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    Dr._Andre_Nowzik

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    Stiles

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    Reese_Bobby

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    Norman_Dale

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    Ben_Wrightman

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    Vicki_Vallencourt

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    Hayden_Fox

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    Jimmy_Dugan

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    Lil_Penny

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    The_Landlady

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    Caretaker_2005

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    Adrian_Balboa

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    George_Costanza

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    Jack_Rose

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    Ray_Boyd

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    Jenny_MacArthur

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    Edwina_Eddie_Franklin

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    Birdie

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    Ernie_Capadino

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    Terrence_Mann

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    WIlbur_Shooter_Flatch

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    Paul_Aufiero

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    Coach_Klein

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    Steve_Little

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    Al_Percolo

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    April_Buchanon

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    Reverend_Fred_Sultan

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    Carl_Spackler

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    John_Gillon

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    Heather_and_Dawn

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    Coach_Johnson

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    Bud_Kilmer

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    Ben_Edwards

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    Kevin_OShea

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    Tasha_Mack

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    Gus_Lobel

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    Mama_Boucher

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    Patches_Old

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    M_Harry_Smilac

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    Ray_Kinsella

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    Pop_Fisher

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    Kevin_MacArthur

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    Chubbs_Peterson

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    Eric_Taylor

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    Dukes

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    Annie_Savoy

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    Frankie_Dunn

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Christine Pagniacci

As much as Cameron Diaz was super-hot, her role as the annoying and clueless owner of the Miami Sharks, Christine Pagniacci just seemed to rub us the wrong way. Perhaps it was her condescending berating of the Coach D’Amato on the how the game should be played with the use of clichés and nonsense that bothered us; but wasn’t that the point? If she was a semi-likable owner, we would find a reason to cheer for her, but this was a Jerry Jones in a skirt, and symbolic of what was wrong with some of the owners in the big…
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Claudia

The first time we remember Vanessa Angel, was in “Spies Like Us” where she helped melt the Cold War in our eyes in the brief role as Dan Aykroyd’s love interest near the end of the film. Although she was in other films and television after, we never saw her again until Kingpin. Gone was the fresh faced Russian girl next door, and in her place was the sultry and dirty Claudia; a Bowling Rat (we didn’t know they existed) who used her assets to get ahead. It wasn’t the typical female lead in a sports flick, but we enjoyed…
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Clyde

Yes we are nominating an orangutan. The sidekick of Philo Beddoe was an orangutan named Clyde brought in for cheap laughs and perhaps a distraction to keep the viewer from thinking about why Sondra Locke was once again stinking up an Eastwood flick. Come to think of it, Clyde may have been hotter than Locke. The Bullet Points: Movie(s) Appeared: Every Which Way But Loose (1978) Any Which Way You Can (1980) Actor: Manis Role Portrayed: Sidekick Why you should vote for him: It is impossible to imagine the films without him. Why you should not vote for him: It…
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Coach Ben Fredricks

From the brilliant “one and done” series, Freaks and Geeks, we have stereotypical gym teacher, Coach Fredricks, who we see a little more of when he starts to date the mom of one of the geeks; his worst athletic student. Just being on this show is enough to secure a nomination, but lets add to it that this guy was also Biff Tannen! The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Freaks and Geeks (1999-2000) Actor: Thomas F. Wilson Role Portrayed: High School Gym Teacher Why You Should Vote For Him: If you don’t, you better make like a tree and get…
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Coach Bill Fuller

We can say this about Hang Time, at least the Head Coach wasn’t presented as a moron, as usually adults were presented as inferior intellects on these teen sitcoms. We also liked that Coach Bill Fuller was played by former NBA star, Reggie Theus. Saying all that, this was about it as though this program lasted five years (Theus was only there for the forst three), it was a forgettable program overall with no real legacy. Incidentally, Theus left the show and was replaced by Dick Butkus, who we far preferred in Miller Lite commercials. The Bullet Points: TV Show…
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Coach Ernie Pantusso

This may sound morbid, but we kind of thought that “Cheers” improved after the death of Nicholas Colasanto and thus the death of “Coach” Ernie Pantusso. Ironically, this would usher in the character of Woody Boyd, who may not be a Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame nominee, but his portrayer, Woody Harrelson, has given us many. ‘Coach” was a shade above (or maybe below) retarded, and based on an episode showcasing his ability to be hit by pitches (and to the head), we think he may have taken one too many, as his intelligence had to be constantly questioned. Still,…
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Coach Johnson

Likely anyone who played competitive sports on any level has had a coach like Coach Johnson (Charles Durning) in North Dallas Forty. You know the type; the one you mock openly (yet doesn’t pick up on it), brags about accomplishments that were not that impressive, and learned everything from a handbook. Durning nailed it perfectly, and we know we are not the only ones who had memories brought up by watching his portrayal of the North Dallas Assistant Coach. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: North Dallas Forty (1979) Actor: Charles Durning Role Portrayed: Assistant Coach of the North Dallas Bulls…
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Coach Klein

Even though Henry Winkler never played a tough role after the Fonz, it still messes us up. As the mousy Coach Klein of the Southwest Louisiana State University, he was not overly successful. Although he was a wizard with plays, his prized playbook was taken from his rival, and he lacked the balls to stand up for himself afterwards; that is until he met Bobby Boucher, a simple Cajun boy who tears up College Football with his fierce linebacking skills. Boucher would be his biggest recruit and indirectly reignite his flair for drawing plays. The Fonz would win the Bourbon…
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Dan Rydell

Sports Night had a loyal and devoted audience, and had it aired a few years later, or appeared on a smaller channel, we would bet that this acclaimed program would have found a longer life. (yeah, we know, this is what we wrote for the Casey McCall intro) Dan Rydell was not always the flashier of the two co-anchors, but we always thought his character arc was a little deeper. He was a lead when needed, a supporting player when asked, and overall one of the most underrated of all time; regardless of the genre. The Bullet Points: TV Show…
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Dani Santino

There haven’t been many television series about sports focusing on a female character, and in Necessary Roughness, we have a unique one where we have Dani Santino, a divorcee who become a therapist for a professional football team. It would become a minor hit for the USA Network, though it was more about her drama than anything that occurred on the field. This wasn’t a bad show, but did it make enough of a dent to be considered a legit possibility to generate an inductee. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: Necessary Roughness (2011-13) Actor: Callie Thorne Role Portrayed: Sports…
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Dante Slate Jr.

Kevin Hart may be the black Vince Vaughn. We know their styles are completely different, but when you watch a Vince Vaughn film you know exactly what he is playing, regardless what his role is. The same goes for Kevin Hart. In Grudge Match, Hart played Dante Slate Jr., the son of a crooked boxing promoter, who is following, though somewhat unsuccessful to date in his father’s footsteps. Hart gives us a few laughs, which is what you would want from him, but is this worth a nomination? The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Grudge Match (2013) Actor: Kevin Hart Role…
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David Greene

As hard as it may be to believe, in the late 70’s one of the most respected comics was Gabe Kaplan (Mr. Kotter), and at the same time he was amongst the best athletes on television. If you don’t believe us, check out old “Battle of the Network Stars” episodes, and his athletic prowess will shock you. In Fast Break, Kaplan assembles a rag tag (often used we know, but painfully accurate) group of players who will be his team at the fictitious (hey, perfect for us) Cadwallader University in Nevada. The film remains a cult hit, but maybe a…
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Dr. Andre Nowzcik

A goofy looking plastic surgeon, Dr. Andre Nowzcik may have been successful in doing what was necessary to become a successful doctor, but in those classes he never learned how to dress well, nor develop a “clue”, as he was often the target of jokes amongst his peers. Still, as the Season One “Shiva” winner, perhaps he has an inside track to become the first entrant from the League to make our Fictitious Athlete Hall of Fame. The Bullet Points: TV Show Appeared: The League (2009-) Actor: Paul Scheer Role Portrayed: Fantasy Football Team Owner Why you should vote for…
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Dukes

Although his role did not move the plot line of Semi-Pro at all, we have a soft spot for “Dukes”, the clueless hippie who sank the moon shot to win $10,000 at a halftime promotion during a Flint Tropics game; though he sure had a hard time cashing that oversized cheque. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Semi-Pro (2008) Actor: Jackie Earle Haley Role Portrayed: Fan of the Flint Tropics Why you should vote for him: Out of pity. Why you should not vote for him: This role was brief, and had it been eliminated would not have affected the film…
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Eric Taylor

The role of a coach or teacher in a High School show SHOULD be the most important one if that program plans to follow on more than one specific team or class. It should because kids graduate and are replaced by other kids; although in Hollywood it is common for students to remain seniors into their early 30’s. This might be why the role of Eric Taylor in Friday Night Lights was so good, because not only was he the focal point, but he was one of the best characters on television at the time. We got to see many…
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Ernie Capadino

Of all the Saturday Night Live alumni, would you ever think that Jon Lovitz would have a character from a sports film worth remembering? He did just that in “A League of Their Own” as a Baseball Scout who was responsible for finding female talent for the formation of a new league. His role was small, and was not seen after the fifteenth minute of the movie, but his lines were hysterical, and Lovitz was perfectly cast as the smug and slimy, Ernie Capadino. Although his role was unnecessary after he brought players to the tryouts, you wished the writers…
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Feng

Let’s make sure we have this correct. There is a nominee on this ballot that has Christopher Walken as a Chinese criminal boss with Table Tennis relations?   Come on, how do you not vote for this?
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Frankie Dunn

Perhaps what we love most about Clint Eastwood as that he allows his characters to be as old as he is. You would think that would be obvious, but how many action stars looked ridiculous in roles that they were clearly too old or out of shape for?   Although with Eastwood’s gruff voice and mean look he might still be believable as an ass kicker, he has instead morphed into grumpy old man territory whereby he has shown the most layered performances of his career; as the former tough guy reconciling with his past. It wasn’t Frankie Dunn as a…
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Gabriel Caine

Suave, slimy, a touch obnoxious and all the way intelligent, Gabriel Caine may be one of our favorite con men in the history of film. In Diggstown, Caine (James Woods) pulled off a boxing related con in the American South, and though reviews were decent, the viewership was small. Still, Woods was enjoyable, even though many other boxing based films did better business and his performance was not seen by many. The Bullet Points: Movie Appeared: Diggstown (1992) Actor: James Woods Role Portrayed: Con Man Why you should vote for him: When we think of it, there are few other…
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