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32. Charlene

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I’ve Never Been to Me

Highest Billboard Position:
#3 in 1982

At least with most of the songs on this list, we have a pretty good idea what their points are.  With Charlene’s 1982 One Hit blunder we just don’t know understand what her point is; or what she is whining about.

In her sappy song, “I’ve Never been to Me”, Charlene sings of all the wonderful exotic places she has been to and the wonderful things she gets to do, yet she is unsatisfied as she has never “been to me”.  She’s kidding right?  All those cool things she gets to do sucks?  On second thought, maybe we do know what her point is, as the bridge before her final chorus basically goes into how wonderful it is to be a mother, a wife and your ordinary basic housewife, and that is the true paradise.  Really?  Paradise for who exactly?  Our bet is that 90 percent of the housewives who listened to this song tuned out the last part and focused on how wonderful it would have been to go to those worldly locales.  She’s never been to herself?  Masturbation can cure that.

How awful is this song?

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I totally agree, this song is god awful! - 50%
This song is bad, but there is much worse. - 0%
This song is actually a guilty pleasure. - 0%
No opinion. - 0%
You are nuts, this song is amazing. - 50%
Last modified on Saturday, 21 July 2012 08:27

Comments   

 
0 #1 P Smith 2012-12-27 12:39
This is only #32? It's so painfully bad it should be higher. I suspect it's only because of its age that newer "songs" are ahead of it.

And she is not a "one hit blunder" (good term for it) by that crap artist. She is also responsible for another atrocity, the equally horrendous religious drivel, "Used To Be".

Stevie Wonder had already hit the bottom of the barrel with crap like "Ebony and Ivory" and "I Just Called To Say I Love You". But then he got out a pick axe and kept digging by doing a duet with Charlene.
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0 #2 Norman 2013-03-22 16:17
This song makes me want to hurt people and that spoken word part has got to be among the most cringe inducing moments ever recorded. #32 is way too low.
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